Oh, My Baby!
by Oh Dee
Summary: Tenzin asks Lin to try for a family. And for some really stupid, inexplicable reason—Lin says yes. Linzin AU
1. i

i.

Lin sat up in a flash. The phone was ringing, demanding, from somewhere in her kitchen and she quickly leaped out of bed to find her way in the dark. She answered the phone with her most irritated growl.

"What?"

"Lin!" The voice on the other end was familiar. "Did I wake you?"

"What time is it, Bumi?"

"Two. In the mornin'." Bumi sounded spectacularly drunk, and she could just picture him twirling the cord of the phone around his finger like a little schoolgirl. "Sorry to call but Tenzin's drunk."

Lin was wide-awake now. She cradled the phone closer to her ear so she could use her most menacing whisper. "_What_?"

Bumi was deservedly nervous. "It was just one drink. And it's _my bachelor party_!"

Patience was wearing thin. "Where are you?"

"Wulong Bar. On Trinity."

She didn't even bother with a goodbye. The metal phone was distinctly bent out of shape when she slammed it. But there was no time to worry about that; she had to go put on some pants, find her stupid boyfriend, and give him a good talking to. She had half a mind to call Aang but Tenzin would probably never speak to her again.

_Would serve him right_, she thought darkly, and made her way back to her bedroom.

* * *

He was _drunk_.

When she stepped into the bar, Tenzin was already throwing himself at her. He patted her hair with a giant hand and called it Oogi, which made a vein threaten to pop right out of her temple. Finished greeting his sky bison who had come to him in the form of his girlfriend's hair, he turned to everyone—including Bumi's bachelor party of United Forces marines—and declared to all the world that sure, Bumi may be marrying into the Fire Lord's family, but _he_ had a Beifong.

There was a whooping applause from the room of mostly drunk men in response.

She placed a hand around Tenzin's elbow and hauled him out of the bar, his saffron robes billowing behind him. The night air was cool to her flushed skin and she hoped the chill would be enough to snap Tenzin out of it.

It wasn't.

Tenzin stood as straight as he could, which was, quite frankly, not straight at all, and grinned at her. "You are so pretty. Both of you."

Lin was almost amused. "What the spirits did you drink?"

"A martini!"

She stowed that information away for future blackmail. After all, she _was_ a cop.

Her small apartment was only a ten-minute walk away but with a drunken Tenzin it proved to be thirty. Halfway there, the man insisted on rescuing a small kitten, and she had to convince him that it wasn't a kitten at all and was actually a pigeonrat. It took a hiss for him to realize that what he was holding was, in fact, diseased vermin, and then he nearly burst into tears afterwards.

Getting him up the stairs was another problem. He insisted she carry him up all four flights of stairs, claiming that he'd never had to climb them since he was an airbender and he could just _float_. That was a blatant lie but he was trying so hard that Lin actually chuckled. In the end, she carried him up the stairs as if he were her bride. Not because he'd managed to convince her that airbenders were against stairs of any sort but because he nearly fell flat on his face, having tripped over the very first marble step.

Once in bed and stripped of his robes, his skin flushed a dusty pink that clashed against his pale blue arrows, Tenzin turned to watch her change. The sudden change in his eyes made her grow warm under his unwavering gaze.

"I am so lucky to have you," he said, and if it wasn't for the slur of his words, she_ might_ have though he was completely fine.

She slipped into bed beside him once she was finished, pulling the covers over them both. "And you are most certainly wasted. Go to sleep."

He pouted and edged closer, one hand skimming along her stomach, resting lightly over the flat expanse of muscle. "I love you so much."

Although her body tensed and prepared to pull away, she kept still in Tenzin's light embrace. "I know."

He grinned cheekily as his hands started trailing upward. A gasp caught in her throat, his fingers trailing light strokes against her skin. He noticed and the smile became wider. "Let me show you."

"Tenzin." She quickly put a stop to his wandering hand. "I refuse to take advantage of a drunken idiot."

"Lin." He propped himself up on an elbow. His eyes were twinkling. "Let's have a baby."

She almost laughed. She considered turning over and bidding him goodnight. But she accidentally caught his grin, so honest and bright and _hopeful_. His eyes reassured her that no matter her answer, he would always love her. Warmth spread all the way to the tips of her toes and her heart pounded rapidly against her chest.

"Okay."

His eyes immediately began to brim with unshed tears and he buried his face in the crook of her neck and she prayed—she wasn't sure to what or whom—that he didn't remember in the morning.

* * *

He remembered.

She came out of the bathroom to find Tenzin sitting up in bed, hands in his lap, eyes glued to the door she had just emerged from. He hadn't touched the glass of water she had placed on the table by his side of the bed.

"Good morning, sunshine," she joked, running a towel through her hair. An uncomfortable weight settled in the pit of her stomach. The closet door was ajar, her uniform sitting in the shadows, a comforting sight.

"Did you mean it?"

Cocking her head, she raised an eyebrow. "Did I mean what?"

His scowl was enough to prove that he did not appreciate her little game. "Did you mean what you said last night?"

"You _remember_?" She laughed hollowly. "I'm surprised."

"Lin."

Her name on his tongue had always been her undoing. The room suddenly felt small and narrow, as if it were closing in all around her. Tenzin watched her so intensely with all the love in the world reflected in his gray gaze. It took only three seconds before she looked away, unable to hold his stare, unwilling to understand.

It felt like she had been doused in cold water. Everything inside her froze and she scrambled to disengage, to retreat, to keep things from falling out of her control. A voice that sounded suspiciously like her mother's said, _You're acting like a child—what are you afraid of?_

She didn't really know. She was sure her fear was not ungrounded, but she hadn't any clue how to answer the question she'd asked herself countless of times when the discussion of family came up between them. The answer was as out of reach as it had been before.

But then there he was, sitting in her bed, practically naked, possibly hung-over for only the second time in his twenty-eight years of life. There he was in her room, in her home, in her life, always waiting patiently.

She crossed the room and handed him his glass of water. He took the glass gratefully but didn't move to drink it, watching her, the question still hanging in the air around them. So she gave him her answer.

"Of course, Baldy. Now drink."

* * *

After work, instead of going home or to Air Temple Island, Lin stopped by her mother's house with some groceries. It wasn't like Katara and Aang didn't already supply her mother with endless amount of vegetables; the real problem was that Toph couldn't cook and she couldn't be bothered to hire someone who could. Besides, her mother absolutely hated vegetables.

Toph greeted her at the door with a wide grin. "Good, I'm famished."

Lin rolled her eyes and set her bags on the wooden table in her mother's kitchen. Toph perched herself on one of the chairs, blind eyes following Lin as she moved around the kitchen to start dinner.

"Mother—"

"Uh oh," Toph said. "That sounds like a serious '_Mother_' there."

The sound of sizzling meat filled the room as Lin threw a few pieces of pre-seasoned steak onto the skillet. "You need to find yourself a cook. I can't come here all the time, you know."

"I know."

"What if I'm away working on a case or something?"

"Don't worry about me, kid." Toph picked at her toes disinterestedly. "I've never asked you to come by."

Lin couldn't help but frown. A drop of oil landed on her finger that she barely noticed, wiping it away on her thigh. "I _know_."

She could practically feel her mother's attention focused solely on her. Shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another, Lin went back to concentrating on what was currently cooking in the pan, even as her mind drifted elsewhere to a certain conversation. It took a larger drop of oil landing on her hand to startle her out of her musings.

"Spill it."

Lin hissed, staring at the tiny burn she had managed to earn on the back of her hand. It was only a little red, not much of a fuss, but it irritated her enough to snap. "Spill what?"

"What's got you so wrapped up in yourself?" Toph was suddenly standing beside her, a hand on her arm pulling her back. "Did something happen at work? To you?" There was a moment of silence as Toph considered her. "To Tenzin?"

Lin shook her head. "Would I really be cooking dinner for you if something had happened?"

Toph shrugged and returned to her chair, this time sitting on its back, feet planted firmly on the seat. "You're a weird kid."

"I'm twenty-seven."

Her mother whistled mockingly. "Already? When did that happen?" Then, a little more seriously, "Holy spirits, I'm already sixty?"

"Mother," she said, a little annoyed.

"Lin," her mother teased in the same little voice.

She was exasperated. Not at her mother, even if the greatest earthbender in the entire world was awful at sensing the air. She was mostly exasperated at herself, at her inability to distract herself from the gnawing feeling in her stomach, at her inability to concentrate on cooking a few slabs of steak without thinking about a potential future where she'd only be consuming vegetables.

In an effort to focus on something else, she took out some of the vegetables kept in the almost-empty fridge, and chuckled darkly at the irony. Here she was trying not to think about becoming vegetarian while trying to steam some vegetables.

Her mother was staring at her. And even though Lin knew that her mother couldn't see, the fact that her mother's blind gaze was turned on her made her uncomfortable. Try as she might, Lin could hide nothing from her mother.

Maybe this was what she was scared of. Not turning out like Toph, who for all accounts could have turned out to be a terrible mother but held, in fact, a similar title of greatness in parenting as she did with earthbending and metalbending (and Lin would earthbend anyone who tried to contradict her, no questions asked). She would never turn out to be like her mother, who was currently swinging one long leg even as the chair she perched on teetered dangerously on its hind legs.

"You're going to fall," Lin warned.

Her mother laughed. It sent her reeling backwards to land in a flurry of flailing limbs. Locks of graying hair obscured her mother's crinkling eyes as more laughter poured out.

Toph stood and rubbed a hand on her aching tailbone. She sniffed the air and pointed in the general direction of the stove with her chin, still the most authoritative figure Lin had ever known. "I think you killed the vegetables."

Cursing, Lin went back to salvage what she could of the vegetables. As she scooped mushy measly bits of broccoli and carrots—_"What, am I rabaroo to you, Lin?_"—onto a plate, she couldn't help think of a certain conversation. How quickly she had acquiesced, even after all the fruitless conversations that had been tentatively broached before. Staring at the soggy bits of produce and the somewhat-passable piece of cooked meat that looked completely unappetizing, she couldn't help but wonder: _am I really doing the right thing_?

"Lin, whatever deep thoughts you're currently thinking about—mind thinking about 'em later? 'Cause I can eat the house and the meat smells delicious."

Maybe things would work out. Maybe being a mother wouldn't be so bad. If she could bend metal by the age of eight and have succeeded her mother as Chief of Police by twenty-four, then Lin Beifong could have a kid and be a damn good mother.

Right?


	2. ii

ii.

Lin was surprised to find Tenzin waiting by the green door of her small apartment. He had a spare key of his own to use yet there he was, standing as straight as an arrow, hands clasped behind his back. The heat of that summer day compared nothing to the heat of his gaze as he stared at her.

She felt shy as she crossed the distance from the end of the stairs to where he stood at her door. Fiddling with her keys between her fingers, she refused to meet his eyes when she finally reached him. It was infuriatingly silly to feel that way, like a little schoolgirl experiencing her first crush on her best friend. Which she figured was _exactly_ what it felt like only she'd been experiencing it exclusively for nearly twenty years. As if to serve as further evidence that she was a particularly unstable mess, the keys dropped from her hands and clattered to the ground.

"Good evening," he finally said. A smile split his face as he reached one arm for her waist. She stepped away easily, bowing her head apologetically.

"I smell like a barbecue," she explained. Tenzin rolled his eyes and seemed to want to reach for her anyway but kept his arm at his side. He swooped down to collect her keys before pressing them into the palm of her hand, the light touch of his fingers setting her skin on fire.

She unlocked the door and threw it wide open to allow Tenzin to step in first. She followed quietly only to nearly stumble into him as he bent over his shoes. A bark of laughter escaped her before she could even think to stop it, and she laughed some more at the pointed look disdain he threw over his shoulder. With a kick of her feet her metal boots fell apart and she made her way further into her narrow apartment. Without turning around she knew Tenzin was setting her boots upright like he always did.

She took quick stock of her apartment and groaned inwardly at the mess. She'd been so caught up at work she hadn't had time to clean. There were dirty dishes piled high in her stone sink, laundry she had yet to put away lying across her kitchen table, unopened mail sitting forgotten on the low coffee table she'd bought in a secondhand store. What once was an immaculately clean apartment now looked very much like her mother's place: completely chaotic.

Tenzin cleared his throat once, earning her full attention. "I thought," he took a moment to breathe, "we should continue to discuss what we were talking about earlier."

Of course he did. When didn't he want to talk about everything? She remembered with perfect clarity just how eager he'd been to talk about the first time she responded with an "I love you," or how desperate he'd been to discuss their living situation when she first brought up her intentions to move out of her mother's house because she was so tired of sneaking him in. It was only natural that he would want to discuss every possible detail of their newest agreement.

Which, in turn, made her reluctant about the topic almost entirely.

"What about it?"

He looked just as uncomfortable as she felt, however, and that made her feel a little better. "I wanted to be sure—"

"If you know what's good for you, you would just accept 'okay' and take advantage."

He sighed. "See, that's it right there. If you're unsure, we can wait. I understand that this could interfere with things that you've already planned." The calm in his voice barely veiled the eager hope for a contradiction to his words.

Lin didn't want to snap at him so she twisted her wrists and sent her uniform flying behind her, serving as a perfectly adequate distraction from the conversation. It crashed rather dramatically to the floor, making Tenzin wince. "Then why would you ask?"

This time Tenzin did not hesitate reaching for her, one hand wrapping around her hand. He caressed her knuckles with a light swipe of this thumb and she wasn't sure if she wanted to punch him in the nose or kiss him until she forgot everything that was currently whizzing in her mind. "I just want to make sure you're actually okay with this."

"I will be as 'okay' with this as I could ever be with the thought of putting my entire career on hold," she mumbled darkly.

Tenzin watched her for a moment before nodding curtly. "I see. I understand."

Lin dug her nails into her skin as the stupid, bald-headed idiot began reaching for his shoes, his back perfectly straight as he bent down to retrieve them.

"Oh, for the love of—" She grabbed him by his cloak, yanking him forward. The mild satisfaction in watching him stumble into the rest of her apartment was fleeting. "I agreed, didn't I? Which means that as much as I don't want to put my career on hold, I _am_."

"I have no desire to make you do something you don't want to do."

She rolled her eyes. "I've told you countless times I don't want children and somehow you're _still_ compelled to ask."

He pursed his lips before muttering, "I always hope you've changed your mind."

She knew that. In fact, she knew about every single reason why he felt the need to always bring the subject up. She knew about the pressures he felt, about the legacy he would one day have to live up to. His father never mentioned grandchildren or the hope of continuing the airbending race—Aang seemed more aware of Lin's abhorrence of the subject than his own son. But Tenzin felt an acute sense of responsibility that Lin could not compare with her own, and she knew when she felt the first inklings of her heart stirring at the thought of kissing Tenzin's lips so many years ago what being in a relationship with him would entail. She was far from stupid. And she was also far from being that selfish.

Lin had a sneaking suspicion that if he went on about the entire thing she really would end up changing her mind. So she did what she had been thinking about doing since always, because the real question was _when was she _not_ thinking about it?_ and kissed him eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down until she no longer had to stand on her tiptoes. She didn't let her mind dwell on the other nagging thoughts begging for her attention. Those were things they could discuss later, after they had their fill of each other. It'd been three weeks since she'd last felt his skin beneath the palm of her hand. Later, they'd get the necessary details down. Later, they'd have their necessary talk. Later, when she couldn't feel his hot breath against her ear.

"Should we get started then?" he asked suggestively, his mouth moving down to suck at her collarbone. She closed her eyes against the sensation but forced one hand to travel along his arm and shoulder until she could tug at the beard he was growing.

"Actually," she bit her lip as his tongue met her skin. "I took my tea this morning."

Tenzin furrowed his brows for a moment and then shrugged, "So this is just practice." Somehow, his lips were at the pulse point behind her ear.

"I'd hate to think what you call the past nine years," she muttered half-heartedly, already squirming at the mercy of his mouth.

They didn't make it very far. Lin was impatient like always and Tenzin was just as eager, perhaps propelled by the future hope that soon they would be doing this in order to get her pregnant. They dropped on the floor, Lin scrambling for his robes just as his hands wandered underneath her shirt.

* * *

An hour later, Lin arched her back in a stretch, bones aching after lying on the floor for so long. Against her protesting body she stood, padding her way to the kitchen while Tenzin groaned and struggled to sit up. She turned back to grin at him in time to see his eyes widen at the sight of her nakedness.

"Your eyes'll pop out of their sockets," she commented off-handedly, searching through her cabinets for tea. She paused on the metal container that held the special tealeaves she had been ordering from the herbalists for _years_ before sighing, plucking it off the shelf, and throwing it into the trash. Two hundred yuans gone to waste. When she looked back at Tenzin, he was still watching her, following her every move as she slowly filled a glass of water from the tap.

He grinned at her from his place on the floor. "I vote you never wear clothes again."

She rolled her eyes. "This isn't a Council meeting." But the words had their desired effect and she felt a flush creep along her neck. Hiding her face, she turned away to grab another glass.

When she returned, he reached for her waist instead of taking the proffered glass of water she held out for him. "We're going to have a baby," Tenzin said. He grinned, open and carefree, his fingers tracing circles into the skin of her hips. She shifted to sit away from him, forcing his hand to drop to her knee where he began to draw words she didn't want to read. The glass nudged his shoulder and he took it.

"Not yet." She took a sip of her water, watching him over the edge of her glass. "Not for a while."

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter how long it takes."

"It could take a long time," she pressed on. "Weeks. Months." She scratched a nail against her wooden floor, glad that she was unable to sense Tenzin's heartbeat. The only reason her floor was made of wood was because she hated knowing unnecessarily—she liked some things to remain a surprise. She looked to find that she had accidentally carved his name. "Years."

There was a hand on her shoulder forcing her to turn. "I don't really care, Lin."

She sighed. Looking at him too long made her consider things she shouldn't. Like babies. Marriage. A happily ever after. "Right."

Tenzin pulled her into his chest, allowing her to hide her face in the crook of his neck. He chuckled, the vibrations rumbling in his chest, sending tingles through the palm she has pressed against his stomach. "I'm usually the sentimental one. Maybe you _are_ pregnant."

She punched him for good measure.

* * *

Sunlight forced Lin to open her eyes. Somehow, the two had found a way to _finally_ climb into bed, exhaustion creeping upon them quickly once they settled down and pulled the covers over their bodies. Her body ached uncomfortably as she stretched her arms above her head, grabbing the headboard for assistance. Beside her Tenzin stirred, the arm around her waist tightening possessively.

"Lin," he whispered groggily, moving his lips to the skin of her neck. "Stop moving."

"It's almost eight." She hoped it would inspire him to move away, maybe send him scouring for his scattered clothing at the thought of a missed meditation session. Instead, he only pulled her closer, his skin pleasantly warm.

He said nothing as he pressed another kiss to her jaw. She hated that she made it so easy for him to distract her sometimes, especially in the mornings before she had her tea. The memory of the metal tin soaring through the air and landing in her bin made her wrinkle her nose. Now she had to find a replacement.

"I have work."

"Nice try," he mumbled. "You took the day off for the wedding."

Lin sat up too quickly, her brain struggling to catch up to the sudden movement. "Shit," she muttered, earning a bristle from the man beside her. "_Shit_."

"What is it?"

_The wedding_.

Somehow—and she had no idea how it happened, really—she had been talked into participating in the most anticipated wedding of the century between the Avatar's eldest son and the Fire Lord's only daughter. Lin, of course, vehemently refused, but eventually Kya and Aang (with a touch of help from Toph) had finally convinced her to suck it up and be a part of the magical ceremony. Lin had a feeling they all thought it would help convince her that marriage wasn't nearly as terrible of an idea as she believed, but what she was certain of in that very moment was that Ursa had been waiting for her on Air Temple Island since seven in the morning and she would have quite a bit of explaining to do when she turned up hours later.

"Ursa's going to kill me," was the only thing Lin could say as she began searching frantically for clothing that wasn't her uniform. She hadn't dug into her closet in months—not since her last date with Tenzin to a festival in early spring. Of course, because she desperately needed to find something, she found nothing at all, and she threw down her things in exasperation and scowled at her mocking clothing.

"Glaring at your closet won't make clothing suddenly appear," Tenzin called from the bed.

She turned to glare at him instead.

"And glaring at me won't help either."

Groaning, she turned back to look for something that wasn't gray or seasons out of date. What she came up with was a green dress she never wore before. The sleeves were a little too big than what she'd seen on various young ladies recently, which meant it _was_ out of date. But it would have to do.

"Get up," she ordered. Tenzin sat up lazily, an easy smile gracing his lips. She started picking up his discarded clothing and chucking them at him, enjoying the way he huffed as a blur of saffron and mustard covered him. "We need to go. I'll take a shower first."

At this he quickly brushed away his cape, which had settled over his head as if he were a coat rack, and grinned. "We should shower together."

"No."

"It saves water."

She accidentally let out a bark of laughter before quickly rearranging her features into what she hoped looked like a mask of no-nonsense. "No."

"It'll be faster. Plus, we'd be helping save the world."

A scoff of disbelief. "_No_."

He frowned. "I can help scrub your back."

"Oh, shut up." She turned before he could try to convince her, stomping her way into the bathroom.


	3. iii

iii

"Four hours!" Ursa yelled, steam curling from her ears.

Lin cleared her throat and tried again. "I'm _sorry_—"

Ursa continued ranting as she began to pace back and forth, much to the annoyance of the poor woman currently trying to hem her wedding dress. The room she occupied was in a less traversed part of the Air Temple family home that was made out for special guests. It was a little larger than the average bedroom on the island but Ursa had seemingly made it her job to take up every bit of space she could with all of her wedding-related things. Lin had to admit it was a rather impressive feat.

The rest of Air Temple Island was in chaos as the wedding preparations were underway. Bustling Air Acolytes ran back and forth carrying various decorations, Fire Lord Zuko was somewhere on the island proclaiming the need to maintain his honor by giving his daughter the best wedding he could possibly give, and the summer heat made everyone a little crankier than usual. Which meant that Ursa was at her crankiest.

"You could have fu—_slept_ with Tenzin later," Ursa muttered darkly. The servants helping her all blushed on cue, which in turn made Lin fluster and consider earthbending the princess into the bay. She didn't, though, because it was her friend's wedding day, and she didn't want to have to explain to anyone let alone the Fire Lord why she had decided to almost-drown the stupid woman. "I'm trying to get married here."

Kya laughed, "Someone's cranky they didn't get lai—"

Her amber eyes flashed. "Don't," Ursa warned. "I will burn you to a crisp and I won't even feel guilty about it." She kicked at her dress, earning a scowl from the woman sewing at her feet.

Lin smirked. Kya went on, ignoring Ursa's threat, spouting marital wisdom and necessary honeymoon activities that would have made anyone else with some semblance of propriety blush to the very roots of their hair. The turn of conversation forced Ursa to halt and listen intently, allowing the woman fixing her dress a moment of reprieve from the chase, even if at the cost of looking quite like a tomato as the discussion became quite suggestive. While everyone else tripped over their feet from embarrassment, Kya, Ursa, and Lin remained impassive.

Not that Lin was particularly interested in the topic. She picked at her skirt, smoothing out non-existent wrinkles. Why she'd been forced to come so early was still a mystery to her, considering she had very little knowledge about makeup and hair. Katara had once tried instilling a love for vainer things when Lin had been younger, but she had whined about it until she could roll around in the mud, proving beyond all doubt she was her mother's daughter.

She gave the window a passing glance. Outside, the bay was surprisingly still.

"Lin," Ursa barked. Lin snapped her head up to take in the narrowed gaze directed at her. "You are _not_ attending my wedding with that hair. If you were going to be four hours late, the least you could have done was comb your mane."

She growled. "I overslept, Ursa. I didn't purposely lay in bed for hours just to piss you off." Ursa was just lucky she happened to be an old family friend or she really _would_ have wound up sputtering in the bay.

"Come on," Kya motioned to the room that lay on the other side of the paneled door.

Ursa nodded in approval and turned back to the rest of her servants, who went ahead and began brushing her long curtain of straight black hair. "Remember: she has to look _flawless_. For that thing. You know."

Lin turned to Kya with an eyebrow raised in question. Of course, Kya's response was a noncommittal shrug with a wide grin before ushering her into the unoccupied room. She couldn't even get a word in before she was pushed down into a plush beige cushion in front of a large vanity mirror she hadn't known was simply lying around unused on Air Temple Island.

"How about some hair loopies?" Kya joked.

Lin rolled her eyes and didn't even dignify the suggestion with a response. With that, Kya began to rearrange her hair, starting first with combing the tangles out of the long, black locks. She winced when the comb snagged.

There was silence for a few minutes as Kya worked efficiently, dark fingers deftly pulling locks of hair this way and that, twirling and pinning them into place. Quickly, Lin's hair was starting to resemble something close to acceptable with messy braids forming a crown at the top of her head.

The necklace Kya wore at her neck sparkled in the sunlight. She disrupted the comfortable silence, "Soon enough it'll be you and Tenzin."

At that, Lin stiffened and sat up a little straighter. Kya stopped working to look at her.

"Maybe."

There was a tiny frown pulling down the corner of her friend's lips. It was only natural for Kya to be concerned for the future prospects of her brother's relationship with a seemingly unyielding woman. Lin could understand that much, at least. "Tenzin won't give up asking you."

She nodded, unable to keep a small smile from forming. "He _is_ persistent."

"Have you thought about when you'd want to get married?"

"No."

The hands holding her hair fell away, a few black locks escaping from the braids pinned to her scalp. Kya admired her handiwork for a moment, a satisfied grin erasing the worry etched on her face. "You look beautiful."

Lin peered closer into the mirror, taking in her reflection and being surprised by the woman who stared back. She'd never been one to completely obsess over things like her looks considering her mother had raised her to appreciate a healthy coating of dirt.

"Thanks," she said. Kya nodded and leaned over again, this time reaching for the makeup on the counter of the vanity. Dutifully, Lin closed her eyes and let Kya set to work, trying to keep from becoming uncomfortable as fingers dusted along her eyelids and across her cheeks.

"When I'm done, Tenzin won't know what to do with himself."

"Sounds like you haven't talked to your brother recently," Lin sighed. Thoughts of a failed attempt to keep him out of the shower came unbidden. She'd either have to learn how to reattach a door to its hinges or have an awkward time explaining it to the person who would do it for her.

"So if he asks you to marry him tonight, what will you say?"

At this, Lin opened her eyes and tilted her head. Kya's smile widened, eyes belaying her excitement. Lin suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe.

"Did he _tell_ you he was going to do this?" Lin lowered her voice.

Kya rolled her eyes. "Of course he did, idiot. He could barely contain himself."

Lin leaned forward. "Who else knows?"

"He's really excited."

"Wonderful. No pressure." Lin pressed her fingers against her temple, willing the unease to leave her quickly, having little desire to deal with a friend's wedding and her nerves about a future she wasn't sure would ever really happen. "How do I know if I even want to get married?" her voice sounded soft and so unlike her own.

Kya coughed. "Well, when two people love each other—"

Lin narrowed her eyes. "I'm serious, Kya. I've never made plans for marriage." It was easy to picture her mother. "I don't _want_ to get married."

Kya nodded slowly. "Tenzin knows. To some extent." A sigh ripped out of the waterbender. "When it comes to you, he doesn't really like to listen to reason."

There was nothing to say to that. Besides, she was left to think about how she was going to reject Tenzin—not for the first time—and how much it would break his heart.

She couldn't even begin to think about how much it would break hers.

* * *

Ursa was a vision of beauty as she stepped out of Air Temple with Bumi. They were both smiling so widely Bumi's eyes had turned into slits of unrestrained happiness. Lin noticed Kya looking away to keep her tears from falling and Tenzin stared up at his brother with awe and just a tiny hint of jealousy. Lin was surprised to find that a small part of her heart lurched at the sight of the happy couple just as thoughts of her own wedding began to play in her mind. She shook the thought away quickly though, just as Tenzin's hand found hers and squeezed.

"Congratulations to the happy couple!" Uncle Sokka yelled, clapping louder than anyone else in the crowd, cheeks stained red. Aunt Suki rolled her eyes at him in mock annoyance but smirked at him all the same. Beside them, Aunt Katara and Uncle Aang were smiling wistfully, both attempting to hide their tears, though Aang was more successful at this endeavor. Fire Lord Zuko and his wife looked on with great pride as the newlyweds took a stand and bowed deeply to the crowd. Lin spotted her mother a little further removed, unable to see, but smiling sadly all the same.

It was at times like these that she conceded to the very small part of her that wished marriage were actually a part of her future. But then she would look towards her mother and she would be reminded that not everything worked out for the best. Even as her mother knocked Aang's shoulder and nearly sent him toppling into Katara, Lin knew better than anyone else that Toph Beifong, the toughest, the greatest, the spectacular one-woman powerhouse of the Police Force, was not made of metal.

The couple began to thank their guests, bowing their heads in appreciation. Bumi's eyes crinkled in delight at every remark about his beautiful wife. Ursa smiled politely as she was trained to do but broke out into a full-out grin when people wished her luck with the wild man beside her. The crowd would occasionally demand a small kiss to which the groom would easily concede.

Tenzin leaned into Lin's shoulder to whisper, "They look so happy."

"They sure do."

She glanced at him to find him scrutinizing her. He looked away, embarrassed at being caught, and sighed, "But the wedding was far too extravagant. Count on Bumi to pull all the stops."

Lin laughed, squeezing Tenzin's hand affectionately. "I'm sure half of this was all your father's idea. You have to admit he gets a little carried away."

He frowned and she followed his gaze to see his father showing a few of the guests his most infamous airbending trick. The guests looked on with polite disinterest while Katara stood and nodded, impressed. "Mother lets him get away with nearly everything."

She snorted before flicking her gaze over to watch Ursa and Bumi, who were wincing at Toph's demonstration of affection. Ursa rubbed her shoulder and glared daggers at Toph, who was oblivious to the homicidal intent layered in the gaze. "Don't worry," she assured him, "I won't want any of this for our wedding."

The words were out before she had any time to think about them. Immediately, Tenzin froze in place. Her throat closed up and her heart pounded frantically in her chest; through her fingertips she felt Tenzin's do the same.

He recovered first. "I sure hope so. I think I would collapse in the middle of the ceremony."

The laugh that escaped her was nervous and too airy to be genuine. He untangled their hands to give her the moment she needed to get away from the situation, and she leaned away from him thankfully.

After a few minutes, he touched her elbow with a finger, glancing at the couple that was now waiting for them to go along and congratulate them. Lin followed behind him, careful to keep some distance between them. He stood rigid, his arrow disappearing under the back of his formal robes, and she found it disturbingly odd that it was not often that she was ever faced with his back. Upon reaching the couple, she moved to stand closer to Tenzin, but even the brush of his arm against hers set her on edge.

Lin forced herself to smile. "Congratulations, you two. I look forward to your spawn causing havoc to the rest of the world."

Bumi grinned. "He's gonna be a terror."

"Now I'm not so sure I want children," Ursa said frowning. Then, a little less angrily, she turned to Lin, "I'm supposed to throw my bouquet to see who the next bride will be but," and at this, she stuffed the fire lilies into Lin's empty hands, "I thought I'd save everyone the hassle."

Bumi laughed, slapping his knee. Ursa kissed his chin in delight. Lin glanced at Tenzin, who had withdrawn nearly a foot away. He shrugged unfazed though she was probably the only one who could see the faint blush that quickly dusted his cheeks.

"Right," Lin said, taking the flowers with little grace. The fire lilies were in full bloom, red and yellow petals sloping delicately over her hand. "Might as well."

"I can recommend a great wedding planner. She even recommended the best day to get married."

Lin swallowed, knees suddenly weak, hands clenching around the bouquet with unneeded strength. "Well, I don't know—"

"Always thinking of others, Ursa," Tenzin supplied quickly, saving her the embarrassment of coming up with something that didn't sound completely ungrateful. He bowed his head. "We'll let you know when to give us that favor."

He gripped her arm and led her away, ignoring the rambunctious outbursts that came from the gathered guests at the sight of her holding the flowers. Uncle Sokka came to them then, haggling his brows, eyes taking in the hand at Lin's elbow.

"Good job, nephew," he said, winking at Tenzin. "Don't ever let her go—one of a kind."

Tenzin nodded but made no move to correct the erroneous interpretation of the flowers. Lin smiled weakly, "Thank you, Uncle Sokka."

"I mean look at her," Sokka continued, gesturing wildly in her direction. "Even with _eight arms_ she's beautiful!"

Tenzin sighed. "Lay off the cactus juice, Uncle," he reprimanded lightly before leading the way again. Lin thought about commenting that Tenzin was indeed part Water Tribe and _definitely_ related to Sokka, but her voice couldn't find its way around the knot in her throat. She simply followed his lead and soon they were walking the familiar, empty halls of the main temple home. He let her go when she shivered even though she was far from cold.

They stood at the entrance, overlooking the stairs that led up to the building. The stone gate had just recently been scrubbed and painted over for the sake of the wedding. "Sorry," he said, breaking the stillness that had settled over them. "I didn't think it would be this bad."

She laughed without mirth. "Everyone expects us to get married," she noted, unsurprised that the words were easier now. "Everywhere I turn, someone is congratulating me about something that you've never asked me."

Tenzin smiled tenderly, ignoring the way her mouth turned downwards in a frown. He seemed to be searching for something in his pocket, but soon his hands were clasped behind his back, completely empty. "I know better than to ask you to marry me, Lin."

She couldn't help but think of the near future, when his requests for marriage would become more frequent, more desperate. Tenzin liked to do things the right way. The very idea of having children out of wedlock was probably upsetting the delicate ideals he'd dreamed up about romance. Not that she hadn't had her own part in destroying his false image of long walks along the beach and snuggles in front of a fireplace.

Guilt sprung up at the sight of his kind, defeated smile. She had to remind herself that marriage was never part of the discussion and that giving in over pathetic reasons like _his smile_ was inconceivable.

She raised a hand to place against his chest. His heart thrummed under her fingertips. "I am happy like this," she admitted, choosing to stare at one of the silver clasps embroidered in golden thread. Her hand trailed downwards, catching on one.

A hand rose to hold hers in place. "And I am happy like this with you, too." It was meant to be reassuring but she could still hear the words he didn't say: _Soon, this will not be enough; soon, I will need a family; soon, love will not be able to keep us together_.

Lin nodded. "Good."

He brought her hand to his lips, placing a kiss on her knuckles, then another on the inside of her wrist where a puckered scar marred her skin. "I bet our child will turn out to be an earthbender just like you." He leaned forward, tilting his head to look at her. "She'll have your eyes." He moved forward to close the distance between them.

She let herself be kissed, his lips gentle and barely a caress against her own. It was over far too soon, leaving her wanting.

Drawing away, he traced her jaw with a long finger. "Let's go," he whispered, trying not to dispel the magic that surrounded them, "we have a party to return to."


	4. iv

iv.

As they made their way back to the gathering, Lin noticed Toph leaning against the wooden railing of the veranda that looked out into the bay. The wind whipped her mother's dark hair into a frenzy though she didn't seem to mind. Uncle Sokka stood next to her, looking rather worried if not a little drunk, speaking in low whispers. The full moon was bright against the darkening sky, as if overseeing the festivities and gifting the newlyweds with its presence. It made Lin think immediately of old stories about a benevolent moon spirit who would always protect her.

"Lin," Toph called and beckoned her closer with a motioning hand. Uncle Sokka looked a little unsure as she stepped towards them, his voice lowering to ask her mother if this was truly a good idea. When she reached them he quieted, his tall, imposing figure turning awkward.

She turned towards Toph. "Mother?"

Toph turned to give Uncle Sokka a pat on his shoulder before addressing her. "We thought it was time to tell you something."

Lin raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Her mother prepared herself by taking a deep breath, "Before your relationship with Tenzin grows any deeper—kid, your father is Sokka."

Lin sighed and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Is this your idea of a joke?"

Uncle Sokka seemed frozen for a moment before his foot stomped on the ground in disappointment. "See! I _told_ you she wouldn't fall for it. Lin isn't even fun!"

Toph shrugged. "I may have killed her sense of humor when she was younger." There was a meditative silence, and then, "You think Tenzin'll believe it?"

"He would pee his pants," Lin supplied from the sidelines, mildly entertained. She crossed her arms over her chest as she watched them revise their plan.

Uncle Sokka nodded slowly, a finger on his chin in contemplation. "Oh, he would, wouldn't he?" And then his nodding turned vigorous while his eyes widened, suddenly struck by the idea. "Oh, oh, he would!" He made a grab for Toph's wrist.

Toph pulled away. "Give me a second to talk to our daughter."

Lin huffed, "Mother."

"Okay, let me go get Suki. She's gonna love it. We can get her to do a dramatic scene at the discovery of the secret." He ran away, calling eagerly for his wife and leaving Lin to stand alone with her mother, the moonlit Yue Bay sparkling invitingly before them.

"So," Toph began, "you and Tenzin are next, huh?"

The question caught her off guard. Out of everyone, she had assumed her mother would know better than to approach her with such trivial things. "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

Toph shrugged. "Because you are."

"We are not getting married." Lin wanted to add, "_ever_," but was surprised when the word refused to leave her lips.

"Does he know that?"

She couldn't help but look out into the crowd. It was easy to find Tenzin standing tall against the sea of people, his arrows bright even in the setting darkness. As if sensing her looking he turned and caught her eyes, raising one hand to wave at her. She looked away quickly, her chest aching.

Toph chuckled darkly. "I'll take that as a very loud and very obvious '_no_.'"

She looked back at her mother. Toph had remained soft even after all the years in the Police Force, even after growing up and growing old. There was a delicate fragility in the planes of her face with her mouth always turned up into a smile, her cheeks round and full, her eyebrows a gentle arch above her eyes. Lin may have looked like her mother but she was all jagged edges and hard features. How Tenzin found her beautiful when there were softer women in the world, and even gentler women in his direct company on the Island, amazed her.

"You never got married," was her clever retort.

"Wasn't for me."

"Well, it isn't for _me_ either."

There was that sigh, the one that told Lin her mother was just a _tiny_ bit irritated, just a _little_ exasperated at her absurdity. "Look, kid, marriage wasn't for me because I did everything possible to piss my parents off, and the one thing they wanted me to do was settle down and get married."

Lin took a deep breath and gritted her teeth before mumbling, "I have things to do."

"Like what? Spend the rest of your days catching bad guys?"

"Yes. It seemed to do alright for you."

"And yet here I am, retired and trying to understand my daughter, who just happens to sound like a whining little girl."

"I am not whining."

Toph blew a piece of her bangs out of her face. "I'm not saying you need to marry him. I'm just saying you should come up with a better reason besides work. Tenzin doesn't seem like the kind of man who will demand you spend the rest of your married days catering to his every whim."

Lin stared at the dirt as she dug the heel of her foot into the ground, "That isn't it." She could practically feel her mother's annoyance oozing in waves. She was afraid to lift her eyes and be witness to the disappointment that was sure to be written on her mother's face.

"You have every right to want things, Lin." There was a hand on her shoulder—heavy but comforting—and then it was gone. "I'm off to scare the shit out of Tenzin now."

Lin nodded. She didn't move until she knew her mother was far away, probably off to find Tenzin. When she willed herself to look up, the moon greeted her, and she wondered if the Moon Spirit was trying to reassure her that all would work out, or if the moon was too disinterested to listen to the problems of mere mortal earthbenders like her.

* * *

Somehow, she found herself slumped in a chair at the newlyweds' table, nursing a shot glass of some innocently pale green liquid that burned down her throat like fire. It also happened to taste like what Lin was sure the earth taste like. That made drinking it all the much easier.

"I hate your family," she muttered darkly. Tenzin laughed and plucked the small glass right out of her fingers, placing it on the table they occupied. "I hate them and their affinity for alcohol."

He nodded, his smile teasing.

Lin should have learned her lesson when she turned eighteen and had been dragged along every single bar Republic City had to offer, the night ending with Tenzin holding her hair back as she puked in one of the public bathrooms of the new underground trains. She should have learned her lesson during Kya's marriage, when she'd tried to outdrink Bumi while Ursa egged him on and Tenzin shook his head disapprovingly at her side. But clearly, she did not.

Bumi leaned over the table to push the glass back towards her. "Hey! Unacceptable! If you're not going to let Tenzin drink his share, you're gonna have to drink for him!"

"He's a _monk_, he's not supposed to drink alcohol!" Lin gripped the edge of the table to intimidate the stupid man, not because she was having trouble sitting up straight.

"Or have sex, but that isn't stopping—"

Tenzin frowned, shifting his weight forward to glare intently at his brother. The heat of his arm against her made Lin feel lightheaded. Or it could be the absinthe. She really had no idea. "Lin has had enough."

"Six shots are _barely_ enough."

Lin blinked away the fuzziness that was creeping into her vision. "So says the man currently on shot _three_."

Bumi shrugged. "My wife is a champion drinker. Not my fault she's taking most of my shots."

Ursa was knocking back drink after drink, the only sign that she was affected blooming as a pink flush across her cheeks. The princess raised another shot glass in the air as she stood unsteadily to speak. The crowd around them hushed to listen.

"Lin!" Ursa grinned, attempting to raise her glass higher but watching sorrowfully as some of the contents spilled out onto the table. A moment later she was smiling again. "Tenzin! I hope you two get married soon! We need more airbenders in the world!" The glass was knocked back and Ursa licked her lips when she finished. "Bumi, come here. We have a honeymoon to get to."

The groom grinned lasciviously and raised a hand in salute to Lin and Tenzin. "See you later, little bro, future sister-in-law. Got me a wife to please."

Lin took her shot glass and, ignoring Tenzin's protests, gulped its fiery contents down. If she had one more person come up to her and tell her to start popping out the future airbenders she was probably going to kill something.

The rest of the festivities went by rather uneventfully now that the star couple had gone off, giving Lin the chance to recover. Uncle Sokka waxed poetic to the bright, shining moon while Aunt Suki glowered alone, watching in disdain. Aang was curiously flushed, stumbling along the party arm in arm with Fire Lord Zuko, who was in a far worse state of sobriety. Tenzin groaned and went to confront his father, who looked accusingly at the man he was traipsing along with and proclaimed to everyone that Zuko was a _jerkbender_ who secretly poisoned his friend's drinks with cactus juice. Uncle Sokka grinned mischievously just as Zuko turned to glare at him.

When Tenzin returned to her, she was considerably more aware (or considerably more intoxicated, but it didn't matter which to her). She was aware that one of her best friends had just gotten married, that there were two children with dark skin and blue eyes running around the courtyard, that the night was coming to a close, that the stars twinkled in and out of life hundreds of lightyears away, and that this was the end of an era.

A few strands of hair had escaped from their braided prison at the top of her head. He tucked them away behind her ears. "Are you alright?" he asked, concern laced in his words.

She nodded. "I suppose."

He peered down at her, one eyebrow cocked suspiciously. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he leaned in closer. "You're not going to start throwing up, are you? As much as I enjoy helping you, holding your hair back isn't my idea of a great night."

A laugh bubbled out despite herself. "Whatever, Baldy. I was eighteen."

"Barely. You'd been eighteen for approximately three hours."

"Are you just going to stand there and complain about something that happened nearly a decade ago?"

"Yes."

She readied herself for a retort when she was silenced by his kiss, a chaste little thing that left nothing to be desired. She was breathless when he pulled away.

"You did that on purpose," she accused. She was sure she was pouting ridiculously. How embarrassing. It took all of her willpower from reaching up and using his ears to drag him down and give him a thorough, proper kiss.

Tenzin shrugged in that infuriating way of his, but his hand was pulling at hers. "You should stay the night."

_Yes_, she figured. She really should. Republic City was awfully far. The promise of sleeping in Tenzin's arms was more enticing than her own feather mattress, anyway. But she wouldn't let him win that easily.

"Sure," she agreed. "Show me to my old room."

He sucked in a breath, nose wrinkling in displeasure. "I meant you should stay the night in my room."

"Why Tenzin—you sound like you're seducing me."

"I don't need to seduce you. You're drunk. I'd rather make sure you don't choke on your own vomit."

Lin laughed and let him pull her out of her chair. They walked through the halls, arm in arm, their strides synchronized, down twisting hallways that somehow ended up leading to his room. She let him tug her across the threshold, closing the door softly behind her.

"As a thank you for taking care of me while I was inebriated," Tenzin said, moving for her. Large hands trailed down her back to catch each silver button of her dress until she was standing in the middle of his room naked, dress pooled at her feet. She rolled her eyes at the way he faltered at the sight of her, as if he hadn't been seeing the same thing for nine years. Still, it was rather sweet to see his cheeks turn rosy. She probably didn't look any better; her body flushed red to the very tips of her toes and ears when she drank. The thought of getting Tenzin naked did all sorts of things to her that probably also contributed to her current state of redness.

"Enjoying the view?" she asked, wiggling her brows.

Tenzin laughed. "Yes," he admitted, his thumb tracing circles into her arm. He let his arm fall limp to his side. "But that's all for tonight. _I'm_ not going to take advantage of a drunken fool, either."

She pretended she wasn't disappointed as she made her way to the bed. She crawled over to her side, glancing back in time to see him gulp, his eyes glued to her rear. Laughing, she fell back against his pillow before maneuvering herself under the sheets.

"Wake me up before meditation," she said in (what she hoped was) a low, sultry voice. The feeling of the sheets against her bare skin was not enough to substitute the feeling of his hands, but they would have to do. When Tenzin was convinced of something, he was nearly as stubborn as her.

He groaned and didn't remove his clothes as he joined her. After a short kiss where he kept his hands firmly planted on either side of her face, he turned over and left her alone.

The alcohol didn't help Lin sleep, however, despite the warmth that spread through her limbs. Soon, she could hear Tenzin's deep breaths, his chest rising and falling evenly in sleep. She dared herself to look at him but her body remained immobilized, turned away from him. Instead she stared up at the ceiling, at the rest of the somewhat barren room, out of the windows that looked out into Yue Bay and the blinking lights of Republic City.

This could be her home in a matter of years. She could wake up to Tenzin every morning and watch him get ready for meditation, his eyes still clouded with sleep. She could be roaming the halls, greeting Air Acolytes politely as they went on with their day, caring for the sky bison or tending to their various gardens. She could be coming home to Tenzin every night, him waiting for her with a bottle of antiseptic to clean any gashes she'd missed while at work. She could be spending her weekends chasing after children who looked suspiciously like him, children she could never catch as they flew away ahead of her. She hoped she wouldn't remember such thoughts in the morning.

* * *

There was a finger running along the length of her nose, the touch light, rousing her from her troubled sleep. Lin struggled to open her eyes and saw the foggy outline of Tenzin's face swimming above her, his mouth pressed into a thin line.

"Didn't sleep well?" he asked. She opened her eyes wider and struggled to reach for the glass of water his hand. She didn't answer him until she'd downed the entire thing.

"No."

He nodded and sat back on his haunches to give her space to sit up against the headboard. For a split second his eyes flickered down to her chest, momentarily distracted by her nakedness. "I know. You moved around a lot last night." He lifted his tunic to show her a particularly nasty bruise on the skin stretched over his rib that was quickly turning blue.

She winced, fingers reaching out to trace the mark. "Sorry."

The tunic covered him once again and she removed her hand, letting it sit limply at her side. "It's nothing." Silence. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"No."

More silence. And then he shifted, slowly rising out of bed. "I have meditation. Will you still be here when I return?"

Lin considered leaving right then and there but one glance at Tenzin's fact had her sighing in defeat. "Yes."

He was gone with a swish of his cloak, leaving her in his empty bedroom to her thoughts and discomforts. She placed a bare foot against the floor to make sure he'd disappeared round the corner before she turned over in his bed and buried her nose in his pillow.

This was the most frustrating thing _ever_.

And here she thought their first few tentative dives into the world of romance had been difficult. Sure, she might have punched him and then kissed him as her way of confessing her true feelings, but this uncertainty of their suddenly very real future was driving her insane. She had never wanted to complicate things with the prospect of a family. All she wanted was to wake up to his smile every single day for the rest of her life. Children had never been a part of that future.

Well, now she was lying.

She had dreamed of children once. That was when she was still living with her mother. She had awoken to her own gasps and a bed dampened with cold sweat. It had scared the shit out of her to dream of flying children.

Now she was sitting in Tenzin's bed, alone, entertaining the thought of making such a terrifying dream a reality. There was obviously something wrong with her.

Adrenaline was starting to pump through her, preparing her for flight. She needed to get away from Tenzin, from the island, from the stupid remnants of a happy wedding that gave her the tantalizing hopes for something similar somewhere along the years to come. But just as she planted both feet on the ground and readied herself to flee, the thought of Tenzin smiling at the mere hope of a future together kept her rooted in place until he returned.

* * *

"Good; you're still here."

Lin had her chin perched on top of her knees, arms wrapped around her legs for comfort. She probably looked young, confused, and a disheveled mess. There was a grumbling in her stomach that came from either hunger or the possibility of emptying the previous night's alcoholic mess.

Tenzin neared her with a bowl of porridge. Steam wafted from it in waves. "Mother made jook for Uncle Sokka. I grabbed some for you." He offered her a smile as he placed his gift on the nightstand, a wooden spoon balanced carefully on the edge of the white porcelain bowl.

She closed her eyes and cursed her frantic heartbeat. Spirits, this man was perfect. She hated him. A lot.

Not really.

"Fuck it," she muttered to herself. Tenzin's short beard twitched and his eyes narrowed with frustration. "Let's do it." She was starting to hate her own indecisiveness.

He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. "Even if you're a cop, such language is inappropriate, Lin."

She looked at him and stood smoothly in one motion, towering over him thanks to the added height of the bed. Her clothes were still folded neatly on the chair by his wooden desk.

"Didn't you just hear me?" she asked. To her delight, Tenzin's mouth was slightly hanging open, his eyes nearly bulging out at the sight of her. "I said '_let's do it_.'"

He raised an eyebrow. "Do what?"

"Let's make a baby."

Tenzin looked at her with obvious worry. "Are you alright? Are you still drunk?"

"Holy spirits, Tenzin, just fuck me before I change my mind."

Of course, that made Tenzin all the more hesitant, and she could see the battle raging in his eyes as he tried to come up with valid reasons to stop her. Which meant she would have to take it upon herself to shut him up and start getting this stupid baby-making business on a roll before she came to her senses and actually gave up on the entire thing, _for real_ this time. So she leaped from the bed and into his arms, hoping desperately he'd react in time to catch her, and almost sighing in relief when his strong arms wrapped around her waist. Even so, she wrapped her legs around him for security.

"I'm probably going to change my mind a dozen more times."

"Then we shouldn't—"

She leaned away from him to get a better look at his drawn face. "Tenzin. I'm serious. You're either going to kiss me senseless or your airbending children are going to have to be supplied by someone else."

Tenzin pulled her flush against his body, one hand raking through her hair. He tilted her head back to place a kiss on the corner of her mouth before moving and capturing her lips with his own. She took the chance to grind against him, pleased when he moaned into her mouth.

He moved to kiss her nose and forehead and hair. "Whenever you don't want to anymore, we'll stop," he promised. "Anything you want, Lin. For you, I'll do anything."

Lin couldn't very well form a response to that as he kissed her again, his tongue tracing the outline of her lips. She sighed, inviting him deeper, reveling as he took the opportunity to tentatively brush the inside of her mouth. The mattress was soft against her back and she gathered the cotton sheets in her hands, watching hungrily as he settled between her knees, propping himself on his elbows to keep his weight from crushing her. It was rare that they ever engaged in such behavior in his room, scared as they were to be caught by his parents or siblings even though they were more than teenagers and had been for years. It was rarer still that he proceeded with such caution.

"Slowly," he said as she reached up and tried to divest him of his clothing, his voice effectively putting a stop to her frantic groping. His hands ghosted above her breasts, down her stomach, towards the apex of her legs before settling there, his touch reverent. He kissed her fluttering eyelids, "Today we go slowly."

All she needed was an, "I love you," whispered in her ear to come undone, her fingers gripping the sheets, her heels pressed against the small of his back, the ground shaking beneath her.


	5. v

v.

It had been months. For all the times he had pressed her for children Tenzin was as calm as could be. He took his time with her; he was never hurried, and despite their busy schedules he barely insisted on sex. Sometimes, when she tried to climb on top of him, he laughed and suggested, "We should talk!" instead.

They had done _a lot_ of talking.

They talked about things they hadn't talked about since they were teenagers. They discussed whether they would have their child (Tenzin was careful never to say children, not even once) attend public school or be taught privately at home. They discussed whether fire lilies were any better than swamp lilies, to which Lin definitely argued _no_. Lin went on an entire tirade about the differences between possum chicken and arctic hen, vehemently refusing to see that Tenzin could provide no argument whatsoever, considering the closest thing he'd come to consuming meat was the accidental fly he swallowed while on his first glider trip. They discussed the benefits of a spool on the back of the metal bending uniform instead of at the hips. They discussed the benefits of showering together to save water.

Lin was the desperate one. When she wasn't thinking about being pregnant, she was thinking about getting pregnant. She wished there were easier ways of being able to tell instead of counting on her mother's old, stupid story that Beifongs just _know_. "It's hard _not to_ when there's a second heartbeat inside you," her mother had told her sagely when she first started seeing Tenzin.

By the third month of Not Being Pregnant, Lin was convinced something was wrong with her. Tenzin rolled his eyes and waved her concerns away with a, "Just means we have to try harder," that irritated her. He said it once while they were in the shower. She would have left him concussed in the tub if she hadn't been mildly worried that she had killed the second-to-last airbender. It was the only reason she pulled him out and placed him gently on her bed.

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She grit her teeth and set off to Air Temple Island, intent on figuring out what was wrong and _why wasn't she pregnant yet_?

The city was bright and welcoming, sunshine warm on her skin. Preparation for a late fall festival was well underway and the crisp autumn wind helped keep the sense of panic at bay. She ran into one of her officers on a date and smiled kindly as the young man introduced his girlfriend proudly. As she walked away she could hear whispers about the great Chief of Police following her. The ferry ride was short and peaceful, the waters serene, reflecting nothing of the turbulence she felt deep within. When it docked on the Island, she waited for everyone else—Air Acolytes, visitors, and tourists alike—to dismount first.

Lin couldn't avoid it forever, though. Stepping off the ferry, she gave a curt nod of greeting to a few of the Air Acolytes gathered at the dock before making her way to Kya's old bedroom. She stopped by the sky bison caves to see if Oogi was there and was greeted with a huff and a blatant disregard of her hello. So yes, Oogi was there, and he was just as displeased to see her as he usually was. Apparently, even after all those years, he would never forgive her offhanded comment about his weight. At least there were some things she could count on _not_ changing.

Kya opened the door, surprise written in her dark features as a frown pulled the corner of her lips downward. "Tenzin isn't here."

Kya was only in town because it was her oldest son's fourteenth birthday and someone had to take him on his rite of passage, and that someone was going to be Sokka whether he wanted to or not. Sokka jumped at the opportunity to spend time with his great-nephew and left Kya to wait in the city. Lin had only seen her once when they caught up over a quick lunch at the noodle place by the station. Their catch-up was mostly Kya proclaiming that children were a pain in the ass and she was going to throw hers into the sea if they kept on being so damn annoying. She was joking of course, and she took every opportunity she could to gush about how Pana was growing up to be a great waterbender and that Silla, if she didn't know better, was practically an airbender. Lin had shifted uncomfortably in her seat for the majority of those forty-five minutes, and bid her longtime friend a hasty goodbye when her lunch break was done and it was time to return to work.

Lin rolled her eyes. "Hello to you, too."

The room still looked very much like it had when Kya had still been living at home. There were rows of pro-bending posters still tacked haphazardly on the wall, a variety of snow globes lining the bookshelf by her desk, and the ridiculously large banner Lin and Ursa had spent hours slaving over when she graduated from university. "Something wrong?"

"Can't visit my friend?"

"I just saw you two days ago. You're here for something." Kya eyed her form with deliberate slowness, from the very top of Lin's head to the very tips of her boots.

"I need," Lin took a deep breath and tried not to earthbend a hole big enough to swallow her, "a favor."

Kya looked suspicious. "Sure. What kind?"

"I need a checkup."

"Doesn't Mom usually—?"

"I can't ask her for this."

"Why? Did you grow an extra nipple—?"

Lin fisted her hands and growled, "Dammit, Kya—I need to get pregnant!"

Her friend stared. And then, "Holy shit, I didn't see that coming."

"Tell me about it," Lin mumbled darkly.

Kya looked as uncomfortable with the declaration as Lin did saying it aloud. It was the first time she'd told _anyone_, and now that the words were out into the open and someone else was aware of the situation, Lin felt utterly stupid for having been talked into the idea in the first place. "So… you guys have been trying?" Kya asked finally, broaching the subject with a tentative smile.

Lin snorted. "No, Kya. We just lay in bed and talk about getting pregnant."

"I mean, so you've been trying to no avail?" Kya had the decency to say the words a little quieter, a little less judgmental. Maybe as a prominent healer, Kya had gotten these requests before. Maybe she knew that trying and no result meant something that didn't bode well for the woman. It made Lin expectedly nervous.

Lin pulled at a loose thread on her tunic. It easily unraveled with a tug. "Yeah. Trying and nothing." Her throat constricted but she pushed herself to say the words aloud, "Does that mean something's wrong with me?"

Kya nudged Lin towards the bed. "You've been taking those herbs for a long time. Not a lot of studies have been done on the long-term effects. _I_ haven't done a lot of studies on them. Most women take them for a few years before marriage. You've almost spent a decade on 'em."

She nodded. Right. "So—?"

Kya shook her head. "I don't know, Lin. I can usually tell if something is," and here she paused, trying to choose the right word, "wrong. And if there is, I can try to take care of it."

All Lin could do was nod again. She didn't expect a miracle to be possible. She allowed herself to be seated at the foot of the bed, hands trembling slightly in her lap. Kya was pacing the room, probably thinking of a way to get Lin into the infirmary without arising suspicion or informing Tenzin. And then—

"Why now?"

The question caused Lin to look up in surprise. "Tenzin asked."

"What's this really about?"

Lin furrowed her brows. "What do you mean?"

Kya stopped pacing to get a better look at her. "Suddenly you want kids? I still remember your spiel during _my birthday_ when you told everyone you'd figured out your life plan until you were sixty-five. There weren't any kids then. Stole the living spirits out of my thunder."

"I was ten!" That didn't sound too convincing on its own, so she added, "People change."

And then Kya said it:

"You don't."

Lin froze. She blinked a few times at Kya, who regarded her for all the world as the most pathetic creature that had ever lived. Was she so easy to read, so easy to figure out, that one of her closest friends whom she saw perhaps once every few months could do so just after a few words?

Perhaps it was time to actually talk to about _the situation _to someone who might be willing to give her side a chance.

"I don't want them. I never have. But Tenzin—he wants them so badly. And I know he must. Honest. I get it. His legacy, the fate of the world, whatever!" She threw her hands up and thought she was turning into Aunt Katara. Her mother would tease her mercilessly if she knew.

"But you have your own responsibilities," Kya supplied knowingly.

Lin stopped thinking—her train of thought had gone down an entirely different avenue than the one containing her responsibilities. But she nodded all the same. "Right. The police force. Mother is retired, I'm Chief. No time for children."

"Dangerous line of work."

"Exactly."

They settled into silence then. The conversation did nothing to help quell the unfamiliar feeling that was still sitting in her stomach. She could think of nothing else but Tenzin's hopeful face and a future where she might end up disappointing him. Eventually, Kya led Lin out of her room and down the less-familiar twists and turns to the empty infirmary.

* * *

Nothing was wrong, Kya had said. That didn't help settle the thought that she couldn't get pregnant. They'd been trying for long enough. She knew a few women twice her age that didn't have nearly as much trouble.

She almost sobbed in frustration. It was infuriating. As tough as she was, she wasn't completely immune to emotion. After months of trying to get pregnant to no avail, Lin wanted to wreak havoc. Maybe kill Tenzin for suggesting the whole thing. Maybe disappear and never turn back.

He'd find her, though. And if he couldn't, he'd employ the help of her mother, who would only be incapable of finding her if she were at the bottom of the sea or high in the sky. Either way, both of those places were not ones Lin wanted to spend too much time in. Besides, if all else failed, there was always the Avatar.

It was already late in the evening when she decided to stop cleaning her apartment (because Lin didn't _mope_, thank you, she was productive). She stared at the spotless floors, the coffee table clear of all mail and useless pro-bending magazines she ordered only because her mother liked to hear her read them, and declared her home habitable again. Only there was no one there but her to appreciate it.

She glared at her empty couch. So _this_ was what it felt like, to want someone to be around all the time.

After returning her cleaning supplies to the bottom cupboard under the sink, she took a quick glance at the calendar she had on the fridge.

And froze.

Not only was she incapable of getting pregnant, she was also incapable of remembering her boyfriend's birthday, which easily made her candidate for the worst girlfriend in the history of the world. With a slap to her forehead and a grumble, she went back into the kitchen to start on a pathetic attempt of a vegetarian feast

* * *

"I'm sorry," she said, pushing miso soup towards her bemused boyfriend, who sat on the other side of the small dining table in the middle of her even smaller kitchen.

"For what?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

She stared at the floor, ashamed. "Forgetting your birthday."

He laughed, obviously unbothered. "You cooked."

Taking the empty seat next to him, she smiled weakly. "Right. Because miso soup is just _so_ difficult."

Tenzin patted her hand delicately before picking up his spoon and digging in. He sipped a spoonful of soup and hummed pleasantly. "It's great. You're getting better."

She snorted, "Wonderful. Our children will be raised on a diet of miso soup and fruit pies." Her breath caught in her throat a second later.

He watched her for a moment before his eyes saddened. "Kya told me you went to visit her today."

Lin leaned back against her chair, crossing her arms protectively over her chest. "I should know Kya can't keep a secret to save her life."

"She told me everything is okay." He took another spoonful of soup. "Are you really that worried?"

"I'm at my prime, Tenzin. I should have been pregnant just thinking about it."

A line formed between his furrowed brows. "There's no rush."

But there was. What if the first one turned out to be an earthbender? Or a non-bender? Or what if it died? There were too any risks—she knew they wouldn't be able to stop just after the first one. Tenzin had to repopulate an entire race.

The magnitude of that left her a little weak in the knees—and not in that romantic, sweet way she read about in Ursa's dodgy romance scrolls.

"My love for you won't change whether you have children or not."

Lin wished that could comfort her. Tenzin looked at her with loving eyes, much like Aang looked at Katara. But Tenzin was not his father—Tenzin's sense of responsibility extended far beyond those that even the Avatar admitted to feeling. And Lin knew that because she knew Tenzin like the back of her hand. She knew that he loved her, but it wouldn't be enough once the pressure began to make him bend.

"Done with the soup?" She didn't wait for a response; she stood and took the bowl from him against his protests.

He glowered at the empty space where his bowl had once been. "Obviously not."

"Time for your gift," she said, taking his hand and pulling him out of his chair. He followed clumsily, knocking his ankle against the table leg and groaning under his breath.

He stumbled after her down the hall to her bedroom. Once inside, he turned to glare at her, irritated about not being able to finish eating. "I thought you forgot—"

She turned to face him, hands curling around the white tank she usually wore under her uniform. His mouth stopped moving as she slowly peeled it upwards, revealing inch by inch of tantalizing pale skin.

"Happy birthday, Master Arrowhead," she said, using the nickname Kya had given him after an encounter with a group of nomad hippies who claimed to have known the original Master Arrowhead. She stood with her hands on her hips, Tenzin gulping and taking her in. She liked the way his eyes clouded over with hunger. "I'll do whatever you'd like me to do today."

He didn't need much more incentive. He kissed her fiercely, not bothering to stop her as she removed his robes with blinding speed. It was nice when he was just as desperate for her as she was for him, and it was even better when he ripped at her clothing without hesitation.

As he pushed her against the door of her bedroom, he took a moment to lean away from her kiss to pin her with his gaze. "What I want most is for you to stop worrying. Everything will work out."

She nodded dumbly and reached for him, glad he didn't put up much of an effort when she slanted her mouth over his and nipped his bottom lip with her teeth. She gripped his waist tightly, digging her nails into his skin, and pushed him back until he was sitting on her bed and she was hovering in his lap.

"I love you," he declared, as if the very notion of it were worthy of fanfare and celebration. She fumbled with his trousers, silently urging him to lift his hips and allow her to remove them as quickly as she could. When he finally did, kicking off his trousers and sighing as she took him in one hand, he professed, "I love you so much. So please, stop worrying. It will be fine."

Though his words were meant to be reassuring, and though her heart felt lighter, she didn't have to feel the ground to know he was lying.

* * *

**AN:** **Hello, everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I have one small announcement: I'll be moving to South Korea at the end of next week so this will probably be the last update you'll see for a while... Of course, since this story is finished you needn't worry about lack of updates once I get internet set up in my apartment and all that. Promise. Anyway, other than that, please review (and wish my luck!)**

**Thanks for all your support. And spread the love to your other Linzin lover fans. We all know how rare a happy!Linzin fic is. Not that this is happy, really, but... you know.**


	6. vi

vi.

Lin glanced at the clock on her desk for the umpteenth time that hour. There were still ten more minutes before her lunch break. Perhaps she could crawl under her desk and catch a few minutes of ever-elusive sleep. For the past three weeks rest had become a foreign concept to her thanks to the increased gang activity Republic City was experiencing. She rarely saw Tenzin very much, outside of sleeping together, trying for a baby, and drinking jasmine tea in the mornings she managed to spend with him. She was convinced her hair was going to turn gray prematurely with the way things were going.

"Chief."

The voice snapped her out of her musings. Feng, one of her metalbending officers, stood at her door with a very large stack of papers that looked like they were being handed over to her. If she understood the expression on his face, then she knew the files would all have to be signed by the end of the day.

"For me?"

He nodded apologetically. "Sorry, Chief. New leads on the Triads."

"Wonderful. Set 'em on my desk." She went back to rifling through the documents she already had on file, ignoring the way Feng lingered before her, shuffling awkwardly with his hands clasped behind his back. After a few more torturous minutes of feeling the young officer's eyes boring a hole into the top of her head, Lin looked up and arched an eyebrow.

"I was just—well, the guys—you see—"

She bit back an exasperated sigh but couldn't stop herself from snapping, "Spit it out already."

Feng jumped a few inches in the air. "I'm getting married soon and I'm having a party with the other officers and since you're the most important person in the world we thought—well, _I _thought maybe you'd kind of want to join us please it's tonight after work we'd love it if you'd come."

Lin let out a bark of laughter as Feng's face turned beet red. "You can take a moment to breathe, Officer Feng."

The young man—how old was he anyway, to be thinking about marriage—nodded sheepishly. "So, will you?"

"I'm too old for parties."

He narrowed his gaze, "You're barely twenty-eight."

She pursed her lips in a thin line that effectively had him retreating a step or two. She tried again, "Thank you for the offer, Feng, but bachelor parties are for men."

"But you're—"

Lin looked down at her chest. "A woman, the last time I checked."

His gaze followed hers for the briefest of moments before he blushed crimson and stammered, "No, I meant, you're Chief Beifong. You can do whatever you'd like."

She peered behind him, half-expecting to see the rest of her young officers gathered behind him, urging him to embarrass himself with such a proclamation. "Then I'll see you after work?"

Feng grinned. "Yes! Thank you, Chief!"

When the door slid closed behind Feng, Lin allowed herself a moment to sigh. Now she was going to have to outdrink all of her men. Tonight, just like last night, and the night before, and every night before that, was going to be restless.

* * *

In the middle of her lunch break, while she was sorting through countless files she wasn't sure needed to be on _her_ desk, there was a short knock on the door and a low voice calling, "Lin."

She silently cursed the way her heart began to hammer away. What felt like butterflies began to beat their feathery wings against her ribcage and she scowled, flicking her wrist to slide the metal door of her office and reveal the person on the other side.

"I brought lunch!"

Tenzin looked like the perfect housewife. He carried a bag of cloth in his arms as a grin spread across his face at the sight of her. He was supposed to be at a Council meeting today, not playing stay-at-home husband with her.

Seeing him only made her feel even more lightheaded. This was something she was supposed to have lived through and gotten over back when they first started seeing each other. Not now, a decade later.

He frowned, taking stock of the mountain of paperwork sitting before her. "Am I interrupting something?"

She shook her head and gestured at the chair in front of her desk. He took a seat, placing the lunch he'd brought on her desk. Hastily, she moved her papers to a drawer, ignoring the look of incredulity that crossed his face at the sight of her manhandling such important documents with so little care.

"What'd you bring me?"

He pushed a white carton towards her. "Orange chicken," he said, obviously proud of himself.

She peered up at him through her eyelashes. "Just chicken?"

Tenzin pouted. "Yes. I made sure it was 'just chicken.' I told Sir Chang that if it was possum-chicken, he'd have my angry girlfriend to answer to."

She hummed in delight. She was a little disgusted with herself for still feeling warm when Tenzin called her his girlfriend. At twenty-seven, it was mildly frightening. "What'd you get?"

At this, he sighed dramatically and removed a plastic container. "Soup."

"No meat this time, right?"

He nodded, his features turning hard. "I made sure of that, too."

They ate in silence together. Occasionally, Lin would reach over to snatch a dumpling from his meal ("Use the other end of your chopsticks!" he warned every time) while Tenzin took it upon himself to consume most of the vegetables neatly packaged in another white carton that had been meant for her. It was the first time in weeks that they were spending together without talking—especially about _that_.

It was nice.

"I've missed you," Tenzin said suddenly, just as Lin was finishing the last bite of her meal. She missed her mouth entirely and spilled a mouthful of rice onto her uniform. "Sorry," he added guiltily, staring at the bits that had landed on her chest.

She nodded, flicking the grains away with her fingers. Taking a deep breath, she murmured, "I've missed you, too."

There was a moment of silence as she continued to flick greasy rice off of her now greasy uniform before she felt a finger tilting her chin upwards that forced her to look into gray eyes.

"Tenzin?"

"I love you," he said earnestly. "I'm so happy to be right here, with you, eating questionable food and probably running the risk of contracting a fatal disease."

"Hang Lung Restaurant is not _that_ bad—"

"I'm just so glad we're together."

She bit back every single witty remark she had prepared and answered honestly, for perhaps the first time in months, "And I love you."

He watched her intently before nodding and retuning to his seat. "Good. Now, if you'd stop stealing my food."

She laughed and went straight in for the kill, taking the last of his vegetable dumplings. "Not a chance."

* * *

"Drink, drink, drink, drink—"

Lin slammed her glass down and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Her officers cheered in unison, Feng at the forefront. "That's my boss!" he yelled at the waitress. The other officers cheered once more at that.

"Alright, boys," she slurred, leaning back and teetering precariously on her rickety old stool. She was unfamiliar with this bar. Loud music blared over old speakers; the walls were covered in yellowing pinup posters of half-naked women staring seductively off into the distance. A mannequin with large breasts posed rudely near the back, a red mask with a long, protruding nose covering the bottom half. It was a Fire Nation bar through and through, the kind Lin avoided at all costs because she _knew_ the alcohol there was a little (and by a little, she meant a lot) stronger than usual. "I'm done."

"Chief!" one of the officers shook his head vehemently. "You've only had _seven_ shots."

Lin used her chin to point at the four empty beer glasses. "And some beer."

"I'm getting married!" Feng shouted, and proceeded to drop his head onto the table, upsetting a few of the sake bowls littered around his area.

"When are _you_ getting married, Chief?" Officer Kato asked. He was one of the older ones, back when her mother had still been on the force. "Councilman Tenzin must have asked a dozen times, at least."

Fog was starting to creep along all corners of her mind. She should be getting home even if it was a Friday and she wasn't expected to turn up to work tomorrow. Tenzin was probably waiting in her apartment. He had probably made dinner. There were still leftover pies from his birthday courtesy of his father. Perhaps she should visit her mother. When was the last time she had visited her mother, anyway?

"Never," she responded, although the words were a little difficult to get out and didn't feel like the whole truth. "Marriage is for suckers."

Officer Tu, Feng's closest friend, laughed and slapped his friend on the back. "Heard that, Feng? Chief Beifong has spoken."

Feng lifted his head long enough to declare, "But Xiao Li is beautiful and I love her," before hiding his face in his arms and hiccupping.

"So why not, Chief?" Officer Tu asked. "Councilman Tenzin not good enough?"

Lin jerked her head up and glared. "Tenzin is _perfect_," she said with conviction. Her heart pumped wildly in agreement.

One of the other officers stood and slammed a hand on the table to keep himself steady as he stood and loomed over the table. "Councilman Tenzin is _useless_." He hiccupped and upturned his beer. "Besides, if you marry him, Chief Beifong, you're gonna have to give up your position to pop out those babies."

She knew she should be insulted. But the alcohol had thoroughly rendered her incapable of much except to sputter and point an accusatory finger at the offending officer. "Excuse me?"

"You gotta repopulate the airbenders!" he explained. "Save the world or something."

Feng shot up. "Ex-Chief Beifong was pregnant once!" And then he was down again.

"My personal life has nothing to do with my job," Lin snarled. The officer was drunk enough to remain unfazed. "And I would appreciate it greatly if we stopped talking about my romantic life since it doesn't concern any of you."

"Whatever, Chief," he shrugged his large shoulders and somehow managed to land on his stool.

Lin made a mental, barely legible note to give the officer a good talking to on Sunday when she was back in the station. Until then, she fought down the urge to throw him into the streets and topple a large building on him by flagging a waitress and buying another round of shots for the men. She downed hers the moment it was placed before her and she took Feng's when it was clear he could barely sit up straight. Finally finished and surrounded by far too many delicate glasses, she realized belatedly that there was little possibility she would ever get home.

"Lin."

She looked up to see someone who looked an awful lot like Tenzin looming above her, disappointment written clearly in the lines of his face. A finger rose to poke into his chest and she watched with fascination as it disappeared into the folds of his robes.

"Councilman Tenzin," she greeted. A giggle bubbled out of her throat before she could stop it, sending the rest of her officers into fits of laughter.

He sighed. "What are you doing?"

"_Drinking_."

Tenzin nodded. "Yes, I see that." He sighed again before wrapping a hand gently around her armored bicep. "We should get you home before you collapse in the middle of this establishment."

She nodded and launched herself onto her feet. "Good night, men."

Officer Tu stood on his feet and saluted her. "Make those babies, Chief!"

Lin scowled, her frown deepening at the sight of a smirk pulling at the corner of Tenzin's lips just as he led her out of the door and into the night.

"What were they talking about?"

She shrugged as best she could. Only one shoulder managed to listen to her order and the concentration needed to execute the move made her stop in the middle of the street. Tenzin turned to look at her.

"Us making little airbender children."

"Oh?"

She nodded. "I think only Officer Feng and Tu are on our side."

Tenzin walked to her, slipping his arm through hers and forcing her to begin walking again. "You don't say. That's very nice of them."

"You know, I don't think I'd mind a baby so much." She thought about it for a little while longer and then shrugged. "Well, I'd mind a little. A lot. But for you…"

He gave her a sidelong glance. "You aren't going to remember any of this tomorrow, are you?"

"No."

"Wonderful."

"Is that okay?"

He laughed. She had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't because she said something funny but because he was laughing _at_ her. She scoffed, leaning away from him to stomp the rest of the way home on her own. That didn't work as well as planned, however, because he was still attached to her arm, and he pulled her to him easily as she stumbled into his shoulder.

"It's fine," he answered when his laugh subsided. "But I'm going to take you to your mother."

Lin pouted. She wanted him to go to _her_ place, not her mother's. If they went there, it would be that much harder to get him naked. "Stay with me. At home."

He gave her arm a squeeze. "As much as I would like to take the offer—I can't. I have to help Father early tomorrow morning."

And that was that. He took her to her mother's and kissed her chastely on her forehead before disappearing into the dark sky. There seemed to be three Tophs standing at the doorway, the one in the middle possessing four blind eyes.

Her mother laughed. "You reek."

"You suck."

Even in the semi-darkness of the kitchen, Lin could see her mother was shaking from not bursting into hysterics. "Good comeback, kid. How old are you again?"

Lin stumbled into a chair. She cursed her terrible luck, cursed the fuzziness that was overtaking her brain, and cursed her boyfriend for leaving her with her mother while she was barely sober enough to come up with coherent thoughts, let alone answers to her mother's questions.

Toph was at her side, helping her up. "Let's get you into bed."

Lin allowed herself to be taken to her room. Once there, her mother metalbended the uniform right off her body. In her drunken state Lin felt embarrassed about being naked only to remember that her mother couldn't see a thing, which embarrassed her further and made her mother laugh some more. After what seemed like an eternity Lin finally managed to curl into a fetal position in the middle of her bed just as her mother placed a cool hand on her forehead.

"There's a glass of water on the table. Drink that. I know you don't usually throw up but I put the trash bin right here just in case, okay?"

Lin nodded. There wasn't enough light to see whether her mother was unhappy or not. Toph was tucking in the sheets around her limp body, reassuring her that everything would be okay.

It was easy to cry with the help of alcohol. It took only a kiss on her forehead to get the waterworks going, and soon she was a sobbing mess. She hadn't done it in _years_ and she wasn't even sure she was doing it right, really.

Her mother sat by her side, silent and ever-present.

* * *

**AN:** Moved into my new home on the other side of the world and all that good stuff. Unfortunately, work is pretty time-consuming and I barely have time to relax on the weekends, let alone update. Hopefully, once things quiet down and enter some kind of routine, I'll be able to get back into the swing of things. Please review!


	7. vii

**vii.**

Lin woke up to a pounding headache and her mother's frown.

She sat up in her old bed, her body stiff from the unusual position she had taken for her night's rest. Her throat was dry and her lips were cracked from dehydration. The glass of water she hadn't touched beckoned her with promises she knew it wouldn't keep.

She was glad her mother was there to hold the trash bin up as she emptied her stomach.

"Gross," Toph said, holding the bin away from them.

Lin groaned and sunk back down into the covers, throwing her arm over her eyes to block out the offending sunlight that was streaming in through the open windows. Every sound rattled her brain until she thought she was going to throw up all over her bed. Taking a deep breath she almost gagged at her own stench.

Toph patted her hand. "Never drink with your coworkers. You all think 'cause you're earthbenders that nothing can get you down."

She buried her face in her pillow. It smelled of Toph, her childhood, the earth. Like home.

"Gonna tell me why you cried last night?"

Lin grimaced and shook her head. She knew her mother would take her silence as a no.

"Can I tell you a story?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No." Toph took a breath, just like Uncle Sokka did whenever he began his stories. "When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared shitless." There was a pause that Lin suspected was meant for her to try to question the story or interject, but she did nothing. "I didn't tell anyone. Not your father, not Sugarqueen, not Twinkletoes, not any of my friends. What was I supposed to tell everyone? That some blind girl was going to have a kid? How could the blind Chief of Police possibly bring a kid into this world?"

Without meaning to, Lin's hand shifted towards her own stomach. For a moment it remained there until she shook her head and gripped the sheets instead.

Toph continued, "Finally, I figured your dad was gonna be able to tell something was a little different if I was suddenly getting fatter. I mean, _I'm_ blind, but he wasn't. Anyway, when I told him, you know what he did?"

She shook her head. This was a story she'd never heard before.

"He _cried_. For hours. He placed his hands on my stomach and talked to you, sang to you, cooed and all that stupid shit. He asked me to marry him at least thirty times that night. Tried to slip a bracelet on my wrist when I wasn't paying attention." Lin laughed. Toph joined her for a bit. Her father sounded a bit like Tenzin. "Well, after that, I figured it wasn't so scary. It couldn't be so bad, you know? And I'd have your father there, to raise the most perfect little person in the world."

"But he wasn't," Lin noted. Dread filled her. She pushed it away to the back of her mind.

Toph shrugged. "He got killed, Lin. He didn't purposely stand in the line of fire to get away from you. Things happen. Anyway, when you were born, he cried some more. He named you, you know. Said your eyes were like jade. Don't know what that means. In the end it turned out to be all right. Besides, I didn't raise you alone. Could you imagine me trying to change your diaper at first?"

"No."

"Right. 'Cause it wasn't gonna happen. Thank Sugarqueen. She still hates me for that but I like to think of it as payback for all the times she wouldn't let me go out late when we were young." Toph sighed.

And that was the end of the story. They sat in silence for a moment, Toph picking at a scab on her hand while Lin watched.

"Did Kya tell you?" Lin finally asked.

"Tenzin, actually."

Lin swallowed and forced herself to sit up. "What did he say?"

Toph had moved from picking at her scab to pick at the worn threads of the plush armchair she had probably dragged from the living room. "That you're trying for children but you're not getting pregnant."

No use lying to her mother. "Yeah."

"He's worried about you." A beat. "I'm worried about you."

She shrugged. "I know. But Tenzin wants children."

"What do _you_ want?"

_To be like you. To be a good—_"I just want to protect my city."

Her mother closed her eyes for the briefest moment. When she opened them, Lin felt like the woman was looking straight into her soul. "Kid, you already do. What do you want?"

She closed her eyes and sunk back into the pillows, deciding to answer as truthfully as she could, "I don't know."

* * *

Pregnancy might not have been working for her, but sometime in January she got a call from the Fire Nation.

"Lin?"

She leaned back in her chair and sighed, surprised at how happy she felt to hear her friend's voice. "Ursa. What a nice surprise."

There was a sniffle on the other end. "I'm in trouble."

Lin snapped up in a heartbeat. "What? What happened? Did Bumi—?"

"I'm pregnant." And then there was the sound of a flood of tears and Lin could only imagine the Fire Nation princess trying to dab uselessly at her eyes with a beautifully embroidered silk handkerchief.

She took a steadying breath. Something like jealousy flared in her chest. "Why are you crying? Isn't this good?"

"_No_," Ursa effused. "I'm smoking hot! My body will be—"

"Don't say it. You'll lose all the respect points you've managed to accumulate over the years. Hard earned respect points you will never gain back. "

"_Destroyed_," Ursa finished. There was a new bout of tears. Lin held the receiver away from her ear and took another breath. When she returned to the conversation, Ursa was in the middle of a sentence, "—and I'm just so scared because I don't know what to do and being royalty is hard work and people are going to say terrible things about him being a half-bred Fire Nation child and I don't want that for him."

"It's a boy?"

Ursa sucked in a breath of irritation. "I don't know. I just found out!"

Lin shrugged as she said, "Okay. Sorry. Continue." She thought about suggesting calling Kya instead since _she_ was the one who had kids, but clamped her mouth shut. If Ursa was calling her there had to be a reason.

A while later, Lin knew why. "I figured you'd know how I feel." Ursa paused. "I mean my family has a history of psychotic figures trying to rule the world through blood and fire. And you—well, you're a Beifong. Being a mother requires being soft. You're not _soft_."

She huffed. She could be _soft_. But Ursa had a point.

"And well, I'm scared. Shit, shit, _shit_, Lin. I'm so scared. What if I'm a terrible mother?"

"Listen, Ursa. You may be somewhat conceited and self-centered, but you will be a great mother. The best. Absolutely." She said it with so much conviction she _knew_ she was right, even if she was no Madam Wu and could barely predict what tomorrow would be like, let alone nine months into the future.

Ursa started crying again. Lin spent the rest of her hour before lunch trying to reassure the princess that things would work out. Children weren't so bad. They were cute after all the pooping and crying. It was the later years that were formidable. Of course, that only made Ursa cry louder at the thought of what Bumi's offspring would be like during _their_ rebellious years. Lin tried her best, but she was also a little too busy thinking about what her future had in store.

* * *

Lin never really warmed up to the idea of children. At some point, she just became comfortable with it, especially because it seemed to make Tenzin so indescribably happy. She could have done without all the extra dates, or the way he'd glare at her when she ordered coffee instead of mild tea, or how he'd spend nearly twenty minutes undressing her as slowly as he could just to infuriate her. Well, she had to admit those things were kind of nice. A little. Okay, a _lot_.

But the months rolled by without anything. Soon, it was almost her birthday, and she could tell Tenzin was growing impatient. Worried. Scared. She'd wake up in the middle of the night from restless, dreamless sleep to find his head pillowed between her breasts, his brows creased, and his hands lying protectively over her flat stomach. Sometimes, she'd wake up to his murmurs of, "_Why_?" and "_Please_," and "_I don't understand_." Those were always the nights she'd stay up trying to determine the best way to disappoint him in the morning. She never could do so, in the end, but she'd come up with a list of reasons that she was sure she would one day have to use.

They were starting to engage in increasingly dangerous behavior. Tenzin had never been one for quickies—he always seemed offended when she'd suggest one, as if the act of sex were sacred. But that was beginning to change quickly. He'd grab her the moment she came home, not even bothering with most of their clothes, just removing what was necessary. Sometimes, when he spared her one of his now increasingly rare smiles, she'd throw him against the wall of a dark alley and have him right there, pigeonrats be damned. Each dalliance was becoming less satisfying. Tenzin actually cried once, after he'd finished without getting her off. It almost broke her heart.

The triads were becoming more daring, too. She was at work early and stayed late, much to Tenzin's annoyance, trying to determine the next plan of attack from this triad or that one. On the day of her birthday, she was given intelligence that some of the lesser triads had been taken out completely by a new gang that had practically risen from the cracks. The news required she pull a double-shift, and she called Tenzin to apologize for missing their date.

He came to the station instead, clearly upset.

"Tenzin," she greeted tiredly. She rubbed her eyes with her palms, trying to quickly dispel sleep from her system. "Sorry about earlier—"

"This is ridiculous," he interrupted. His temper was slower to flare and they'd been doing so well until recently. Until it was becoming clear that no matter how hard they tried, she was not going to become pregnant. "You can't kill yourself over work."

She stood and curled her hands into fists, setting them on the table to keep her balance. "This is my job, Tenzin. I have a city to protect."

"It's your _birthday_."

"Oh, sure!" She faked a smile and opened her arms to the empty air. "Let me send a memo to all the triads and ask them to please postpone any attempts at crime tonight so I could enjoy my birthday with my _clearly stupid boyfriend_."

He pinched his nose in an attempt to calm himself. "Lin, please. You need to take a break sometime."

"Just mind your own business and get out of my office," she snapped.

"You _are_ my business!" he yelled.

"Get out!"

"Fine!"

And he left without another word.

When she got home, it was still dark, the sun barely peeking over the horizon. He was waiting in her bed, bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. She climbed on top of him, stripped of her uniform, and sought forgiveness in her kisses. He responded in kind, always passionate, but she could tell something was different.

* * *

The office was oddly quiet. There had been no new attacks from the gangs, few crimes had been committed as of late, and some semblance of peace had befallen Republic City. It made Lin uncomfortable as she sat in her chair tapping the end of a pen against a stack of papers she had no intention of reading that day.

Just then her phone rang. Immediately suspicious, she answered on the second ring.

"Chief Beifong."

"Lin?" It was Kya's voice even if it sounded tinny and far away in her ear. "Ursa's having the baby."

She stood, the edge of her metal desk bending under her grip. "Now?"

"No, I'm just calling to warn you—_of course_ now! Get over here."

Lin frowned. She felt inexplicably nervous at the thought of someone giving birth. Kya had been all the way in the South Pole when she had hers. This was—"I-I'm at _work_."

"Our friend is about to bring in the next in line of the crown of the Fire Nation. That _is_ work."

Kya had a point. Lin slammed the phone down and called one of her officers, Captain Jian, and quickly relayed some orders for the rest of the day. "Don't fuck up," she intoned, glad to see the man swallow in fright. Without another word, she made her way to the ferry and waited impatiently on her feet, staring out at the statue of Avatar Aang as Air Temple Island grew closer and closer.

Kya was waiting for her at the docks, impatience written in the set of her mouth. "Mother's already taking care of Ursa. Thank spirits she came here three weeks ago."

"Don't they have good healers in the Fire Nation?" Lin asked, following Kya into a lesser-known area of the family home.

Kya turned back to roll her eyes. "Ursa insisted that if anyone was going to look at her down there, it was going to be someone she trusted."

Lin nodded. "Typical Ursa."

"Bumi joked he could do it. That got him officially banned from the delivery room."

Lin couldn't help but laugh at that.

They turned a corner to find most of the men of the family gathered outside, waiting impatiently. Uncle Sokka was talking in earnest with Bumi, a hand on his shoulder, while Aang and Zuko paced back and forth, occasionally pausing to consult each other in something no one else was privy to. Her mother was throwing rocks out into the courtyard, propelling them with a flick of her wrist. Tenzin sat shock-still on a bench, only moving his eyes as he took in Lin's arrival.

"I should get back inside," Kya said. "You want to—?"

She shook her head. "No. I'll stay out here. More support if… someone decides to attack while the Avatar and the Fire Lord are here."

Kya smiled grimly before disappearing into the room. Then there was silence.

Lin moved towards her mother before changing her mind and heading towards Tenzin. He raised his head to look at her and moved aside to offer her more space to sit.

"How are you?" she asked. It had been two weeks since she'd last seen him.

He shrugged. "Fine."

She nodded slowly. "Good."

He turned to her and said, "I think it's best we talk."

Lin had known this day was coming but it didn't stop her heart from pounding painfully in her chest. Still, she nodded. "Now?"

He stood. She followed him. Inwardly, she laughed at just how much following she was doing lately.

* * *

This was becoming unreasonable. They'd been trying for longer than it took to _incubate_ one and now they were here, pressed against the wall of Tenzin's family home, engaging in what Bumi would call "hate sex," and trying not to alert any of the Acolytes that might have been walking around. Tenzin's calm had finally deteriorated and they were both fumbling, trying to remain as quiet as possible in one of the darkened corners of Air Temple Island.

At that point it wasn't even enjoyable. They were simply going through the motions. Tenzin didn't bother to kiss her, she didn't pretend to gasp as his hands gripped her waist, and he didn't whisper loving words into her ears. Lin felt disappointment course through her veins just as Tenzin jerked inside her and it was suddenly all over. She slumped down the wall, thankful Tenzin had at least kept his grip on her elbow, and felt a strange sensation prickle her eyes.

Tenzin helped her, his touch delicate. His hands ran through her hair tucking locks of waves behind her ear in an effort to tame the unruly mess. She laughed hollowly and his hands fell to his sides. So much for talking.

They stumbled out of the darkened corner to find their way back to the others. The walk was silent, and Lin made it a point to stand as far away from him as she could without invoking suspicion that something was Very, Very Wrong. He noticed, of course, but seemed just as eager to keep away from her, his hands clasped behind his back, his brows furrowed in deep thought. Lin spared him a glance as they turned into the hallway where their family sat waiting and felt her heart begin to stutter at the sudden realization that this was it. This was the end and she could do nothing to stop it.

"Lin, are you alright?" Aang was at her side in an instant with a hand on her shoulder.

She nodded, narrowing her eyes. "Yeah. Just worried about Ursa." From the corner of her eye she could see Tenzin moving away to join Toph on the bench, politely asking the woman to move her feet so he could take a seat. "Is she doing okay?"

Aang sighed. "They've been in there an awfully long time. Bumi went in a few minutes ago."

Lin looked towards her mother, saw the empty seat between Toph and Tenzin, and opted to sit on the floor, palms pressed flat against the ground. If anyone noticed, they were careful enough to keep quiet.

The hours passed slowly. Soon, there were screams from inside the room that sounded like someone was being torn slowly in two. Ursa had always upheld herself to the quiet, proper rules of the Royal Family, but now she yelled and cried, and the look on the Fire Lord's face made Lin feel queasy about the entire thing. While Tenzin may have tried to comfort Lin before, he now made no move to do so, sitting rigid in his seat, staring out into the distance.

A baby's cry shattered through the silence. Lin scrambled onto her feet just as Katara burst through the door, happy tears rolling down her dark cheeks. Aang sighed in relief, Toph whooped in triumph, and Fire Lord Zuko fell to his knees and breathed.

The older adults rushed into the room eager to meet the newest addition to the Fire Nation family, leaving Tenzin and Lin to trail behind them. Lin urged herself to touch his shoulder, to pull him back, to try and salvage whatever was left, but the sight of a pale bundle in Ursa's trembling arms made her stop in her tracks.

There was a baby. A small, angry looking baby with patches of black hair and a twisted mouth demanding _something_. Without realizing what she was doing, Lin walked to Ursa's side, ignoring the incredulous looks of her family, and peered at the new life.

"Kind of ugly, huh?" Bumi joked. Lin turned to say something but found him smiling and crying. "Can't believe that's my kid. I made that."

Ursa was not amused. "I did most of the work."

Lin continued to take in the newborn child in her friend's arms, from the large, amber eyes that occasionally screwed shut, to the short bridge of his squishy nose. It was a tiny human being. Right there. Breathing. Alive. _Alive_.

That was what she wanted. That, right there, a living, breathing creation born out of the love she had for Tenzin. The sheer immensity of that feeling stole her breath away and left her gasping, overwrought by the reality of her situation.

"Lin, are you crying?"

She shook her head and raised her fingers to her face. The jagged lines of her scars were wet. Her knees felt too weak to keep her standing, so she bowed her head and excused herself.

She only made it a few feet outside before there was a hand gripping taking hers and pulling her to a stop. Turning, she was met with Tenzin.

"Lin?"

"Let me go."

He shook his head and gripped tighter. Panic was starting to settle into her bones. If he didn't let go soon, she was going to have to hurt him until he did. "Lin, what is it?"

She tried to pull free but he was stronger, his concern probably giving him the edge. "Let. Me. Go."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"I can't do this anymore!" She wrenched her hand free and fell to the ground. "I can't give you what you want! It's never going to happen! Isn't it obvious now?"

He stood over her like an ominous cloud. "We can keep trying—"

"I don't want to keep trying!"

Tenzin was trying to reason with her. She could sense the alarm creeping into his voice, "Okay, okay, we won't. We'll stop. We don't need to—"

"Leave me alone," she begged. "Stop lying to yourself. Stop lying to me. Let this go." And then the tears came, wracking her body, spilling out of her throat and onto the dry pavement beneath her. "Let _us_ go."

"Lin, honey, let me fix this," he cried softly, pleadingly. He'd somehow joined her on the ground. She could feel hot tears over her knuckles as he pressed his forehead against hers. "We can fix this. I promise."

They couldn't fix it. Lin knew that. Tenzin knew that. But he wouldn't stop trying, wouldn't let her go if he thought she might have an inkling of hope. So she did what she had to. Lin might have been a selfish woman, but she would do anything for him.

She stood and walked away, as light on her feet as the airbender she left behind, but her heart heavier than any unmovable boulder.

* * *

**AN:** Sorry for the lack of consistent updates. Work is totally kicking my ass so... yeah. Woops. There are only two chapters left after this one though, so we're almost to the finish line. Please review and let me know how you liked the chapter! Reviews seriously get me through my long days of teaching children who would rather be anywhere but school. Don't you feel bad for Teacher? Come on. Give me those reviews.


	8. viii

**viii.**

Lin was miserable—and she was sure she looked it—but her metalbenders had the right mind not to say anything. That didn't stop her mother at all though, and so she often found herself trying to distract the woman as the ex-Chief marched into her office and bent the door out of shape. It was becoming rather annoying, actually, to keep calling maintenance to have them fix the door.

"You are _moping_, Lin," Toph accused. "And it isn't a good look on you."

"Hello, Mother. Nice to see you."

"The least you could do is actually break up with him," her mother continued. That caused her pen to halt in the middle of a scribble to glare at Toph and see that irritation was evident in the older woman's blank eyes, staring determinedly at a spot on the wall behind Lin. "You're both fucking miserable and it's _nauseating_."

"Thank you, Mother. If you're done now…" Lin trailed off and looked at the door. She secretly sometimes wished her mother were capable of sight, if only to appreciate the gestures she made in an attempt to get the woman to leave her alone.

Her mother didn't say another word and stormed off, mumbling loudly about ridiculous daughters and their broken hearts.

"_She hasn't even ordered us to do anything dangerous_," one of the officers whispered outside once Toph had stomped her way down the hallway and out of the building. Lin could hear him clearly now that her door barely functioned as it was supposed to.

"_Heard she actually let Officer Jin talk smack about Councilman Tenzin_," another answered.

"_Shh, don't talk about him—he's strictly off topic_."

Lin groaned and shouted, "I'm not deaf!"

That sent them scurrying away, leaving her in peace.

* * *

They'd seen each other in passing. After all, they were both incredibly important figures in Republic City. They nodded curtly, exchanged pleasantries, and then avoided each other as best they could until the event finished and they were allowed to run. Tenzin did most of the running, which worked just as well for her. She usually ended up being sick after such events and she wondered if that was how she was programmed to deal with heartbreak. Emptying the contents of her stomach as some cathartic way of emptying her heart. It didn't work very well but maybe she only thought that because she _hated_ being sick.

Somehow the newspapers hadn't caught wind of their nasty fallout, and Lin had a sneaking suspicion she had Aang to thank for that. She always thought about calling him or visiting, but then the thought of seeing Tenzin would stop her hand from reaching for the phone. She sent Aang a telegram in the end. It was easy to imagine his sad grin while reading it.

Not that there was much time to dwell on the past. It was as if the untimely unofficial end of her relationship with the love of her life had spurred the triads into raging an all-out gang war. Lin was trying her best to establish some kind of tranquility, but the moment the sun went down the streets of Republic City were plunged into criminal darkness. It was taking all of her effort, plus the Council's, to keep the civilians safe as the police went out and risked their lives.

In those two months, she had lost about seventeen of her metalbending officers. The funerals did not get any easier. She sat in the dark with only slits of moonlight illuminating her kitchen, gazing into a cup of tea that had gone cold, thinking about the latest funeral she had just come back from, and realized this was quite possibly for the best. She could only imagine Tenzin sitting at her wooden table, gripping a mug of steaming chamomile, glancing nervously at the door every few minutes waiting for her to get home. What if instead it was she waiting at the table, consumed with the thought that perhaps the reason Tenzin was late was because he had been abducted as bait to lure her out, injured as a warning message, killed to destroy her spirit. And if they had a child—what danger would the poor thing be in with the second-to-last Airbender as its father and the Chief of Police as its mother? Would Lin not be cursing the baby with such a life as that?

As if suddenly spurred by an invisible force, Lin slid out of her chair and emptied the contents of her cup down the sink. From the corner of her eye she caught sight of the calendar. Two months. She hadn't _really_ seen Tenzin for two months.

At that, her heart ached terribly and bile rose in her throat. She could barely make it to the bathroom.

* * *

It was around the day of Tenzin's birthday—and _now_ she couldn't even force herself to forget, how ironic—that all mayhem broke out. Captian Jian ran into her office without any regard for knocking.

"Chief, the Triple Threat Triads. They're attacking Downtown, by the Red Light District."

Lin cursed. She got out of her chair and walked with a purpose, checking her officers and heading for the communications room. Captian Jian kept up with her quick stride easily. "Don't send everyone at once. Dispatch a small unit. Keep backup a few blocks away, and then send some more units to back _them_ up. Have a few airships ready on all four points in the city. Have a few police boats ready—actually, make them take civilian boats. I'm sure the Triads have some of their own boats waiting. Can't raise suspicion and we don't need all of us to be taken out." She paused for a moment, a little unsure as to why her heart seemed to be beating irregularly. "We're not losing anyone tonight."

He nodded. "Yes, sir!" He disappeared to give the orders.

When she entered the communications room, her intelligence officers were already hard at work, listening intently to reports coming in through the radio. One officer looked up to greet her and said grimly, "Chief, you might want to go warn Ex-Chief Beifong."

She narrowed her eyes at the suggestion. "Why?"

"Well, the triads have always hated her—especially after Yakone. She could be in danger."

Lin laughed. "My mother would enjoy the challenge." But a tiny hint of worry began to grow, and while her mother may have berated her for worrying over the Greatest Earthbender that Ever Lived, Lin couldn't help the wave of despair that threatened to overtake her. "Do you truly think it's necessary?

"This could be a distraction," another officer provided, flipping through files at lightning speed. "To declare full out war against the police—they could be trying to keep you preoccupied while they deal with Toph. How many attempts have their been recently?"

Lin thought furiously to the last time her mother had complained about an attempt at her life. "Spirits—it's been nearly a year."

The officer nodded, pointing at a date on one of the files. "The triad wars began around ten months ago."

"I'll be back soon," she declared.

"No worries, Chief. You've trained us well."

She nodded. "I sure fucking did. Make me proud."

The officer grinned while the others saluted. "We will, Chief Beifong!"

The streets were eerily empty when Lin left Police Headquarters—which she supposed was a good thing for her officers and for the civilians that could have been caught in the crossfire—but it made her uneasy as her steps echoed against the towering concrete buildings. She calmly informed a few of the lingering city-dwellers to perhaps make it back home for the night, to which they all nodded worriedly and turned right around to head back where they came from. For a moment she wished to call Air Temple Island to make sure they were alright but then thoughts of Tenzin answering the telephone made her queasy. So she focused instead on reaching her mother's home, which was a little removed from the city. It was a large estate she could see from the highest point of the city but as she caught sight of it, goosebumps began to rise along her arm even though she felt rather toasty in her uniform.

Lin reached the estate and checked the surrounding area twice before knocking on the door. If there was anyone near the house, Toph would have already felt them and disposed of them. It took a few seconds before she heard her mother shout, "Come in!"

Upon opening the door she found Toph was sprawled out on the couch, Katara holding her hand and painting her nails a sickly green.

"Mother." All of the worry Lin had felt coursing through her veins was immediately replaced with mild irritation. She looked at Katara. "Katara."

"Hey, kid." Toph waved her free hand, the dim lights glinting against her sickly nails. "I'm getting a manicure."

"The city is in disarray and you're getting your nails painted the ugliest shade of green in the world," Lin snapped, unable to stop herself. Katara frowned at that. "Good to know."

Toph shrugged and extended her hand out as if to admire her manicure. "I can't see it, so what do I care?" But then she sat up a little, earning a huff from Katara as the nail polish streaked against Toph's pale skin. "What do you mean 'disarray,' anyway?"

"Triple Threat Triads."

"Well, shit."

"Toph!" Katara berated.

"She's almost half my age, Sugarqueen, I can curse all I damn well please." A foot came down to slam on the floor. Toph cocked her head to the side, her ears perked. "So what are you here for?"

Lin pretended she could feel the vibrations running under her feet. It was a pity the metal shielded her from being able to feel the ground. "I just wanted to be sure you were safe."

"Great. You've done your job." Toph gestured at the newly-vacant spot beside her on the couch. "Want to join us?"

Lin resisted every urge to simply scream and stomp out of the house. "I have to get back to work. We're going to try and corner them," she said instead, very slowly, very carefully.

"Can't let you do that, kid. Against Regulation 34-6."

She counted to ten to keep from burying her mother under an avalanche. Then she continued on to fifteen. She used the time to think through all the regulations she knew by heart. She never really cared for those that fell under Regulation 34. Finally, after thirty seconds, she spoke, "And what regulation is that?"

"Expecting mothers aren't allowed to engage in triad-related arrests."

There was silence, and then there was the sound of the glass phial Katara held in her hands promptly shattering on the floor.

"No way," Lin said, ever so eloquent. She refused to let her hand flutter to rest on her flat stomach. "_Impossible_, actually."

"You had been trying really hard," Toph quipped, amused.

The last time had been—_fuck_. Lin staggered to one of the pillars in the living room and heaved a shaky breath. Just her fucking luck. Pre-breakup sex. _Great_.

"I can't be," she tried again. Katara was already standing and inching toward her, arms outstretched. "No fucking way."

Toph rolled her eyes. Throughout the years she had gotten impressively good at it. If Lin weren't so busy freaking out, she might have thought to congratulate her mother. "If you hadn't been so busy sulking, you might have heard the heartbeat. Idiot."

Nothing could stop her from slumping down onto her knees. Katara was with her in an instant, pulling expertly at the clasps that held her uniform in place. After so many years of friendship with Toph and the various injuries obtained by the police force, Katara was skilled at removing the metalbending uniform. Lin let the waterbender do away with the metal without much protest, still trying to grasp at the impossible straws now lying before her. She was pregnant. Had been for two whole months. And she hadn't even fucking _noticed_, so caught up as she was in her own misery.

She felt incredibly stupid. And incredibly relieved. And incredibly, devastatingly nervous.

Once the uniform was off, she took the opportunity to run the palm of her hands along the ground, sending tendrils of vibrations through the earth and up her own body. It was then that she felt the unmistakable soft heartbeat of something else, trudging away determinedly, racing along with her own.

Katara's hands hovered over her stomach for a moment, surrounded by a thin layer of water she'd retrieved from the pouch at her hip. Then she began to cry. "Toph's right. I'm sure you've already felt it."

The tearbender could cry enough for the three of them, Lin figured, nodding along as Katara pulled her into a hug. She began to tick down the list of things she would have to do. First, call Police Headquarters and find out the status of everything. She could try and get back to the station tonight and give out orders from there instead of joining her men on the field. She'd have to throw out all the coffee she'd just bought with the intention of getting back to the routine she'd established Before Tenzin's Idea, as she had started calling the year before. And she'd have to tell Tenzin.

That went to the bottom of the list.

"I need to get back to the station," she finally said after what seemed like an eternity of silence and Katara's sobbing. Toph nodded in solemn agreement as Katara let her go. "Don't tell Tenzin," she ordered, looking at her mother.

"Of course not," Katara answered. "That is for you to tell him. If you want."

Lin stalked out the door.

* * *

Lin was sitting with an elbow propped on her desk and her head in her hand, thinking of all the possible moves her officers could use. It was almost morning, which meant that while the waterbending officers were beginning to lose their power, the firebenders were just waking up. And while they attacked, the nonbending police officers were able to capture and arrest the falling Triad members. Thankfully the latest report had come in with news that the Triads were losing quickly, their members tired out. That was good to hear.

Tenzin burst through the door, clearly worried. He stopped short at the sight of her and rung his hands in her general direction. "You're _here_?" He sounded both relieved and annoyed.

She looked up. Never before had she been so thankful to have her metal desk standing between them. "What are you doing?"

He coughed into his hand and looked down shyly, which only made her heart lurch in her chest and her arms tingle desperately as if fighting the urge to wrap around him. "I was worried. I thought I would check to make sure you weren't here before going to your apartment and waiting there." He took a step closer but faltered as she narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you hurt?"

She laughed. That made him all the more consternated. He was at her side in a moment, hands traveling along her body, checking for injuries.

"I'll go get some gauze," he said, evidently confused at her lack of gaping flesh wounds or scratches along her exposed skin. "Where are you hurt?"

"We haven't spoken to each other in two months," she reminded him, batting his hands away.

He winced and leaned away from her. "I was so worried. I heard about the Triads and I couldn't help it—"

That made her choke. Count on him to say exactly what she needed to hear. He was infuriating. "I know."

Tenzin rushed to finish, "And I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let you go like that. I—please, I'll do anything." He took a deep breath. "Forget children, Lin. We'll figure it out later."

Finally, she burst. The tears surprised her with their intensity. If she hadn't been so busy crying, she might have laughed at the horror that settled on Tenzin's face as her tears began to slide down her cheeks to splatter inelegantly onto her uniform. "Oh, shit," she muttered, hiding her face in her hands.

"Lin?" He took her wrists gently, trying to get a better look at her. His eyes raked her desperately, trying to find what was ailing her. "Please, where are you hurt?"

"I'm not hurt. I'm pregnant."

He was silent for quite a long time. Only her sobs filled the silence, which made them increase in volume. After spending so many years _not_ crying, of course her tears would turn out to be noisy and painful. She must have looked an outright mess. Then, Tenzin finally spoke, "Oh."

"Yes. 'Oh.'"

There were thumbs sweeping away her tears. The pads of his fingers trailed over her lips and cupped her chin, tilting her face upward. "I'm sorry."

She laughed through the haze. "What for?"

"I know how badly you don't want this." She blinked through her tears to see him close his eyes and give in to whatever had crossed his mind.

He gathered her in his arms and pulled her into his lap, rocking her back and forth as her cries died down. Lin appreciated that he didn't let his hands linger near her stomach, careful to keep his touch constrained to parts of her that wouldn't make her cry any harder.

She pulled away to look at him. He stared down at her, eyes brimming with his own tears, his cheeks wet from where the tears had escaped and trailed down before disappearing into his beard. "I'm so scared," she finally admitted.

He nodded.

"I'm scared I'm going to be a terrible mother. That my children will hate me. That I'll do something wrong. My whole life, I thought the only thing I had to do was run this place well and make my mother proud." She laughed bitterly. She paused and took a shaky breath that rattled her entire frame. "What if something happens?" she whispered, afraid of saying such things in case the winds took the words and made them true.

"The first step in overcoming your fears is to admit you have them." He passed a light hand over her brows. "You will be the greatest mother that ever lived. Of that I can assure you. Our child will be lucky to have a mother like you."

She nodded. Tenzin's hands wound around her back, clasping her tightly. He kissed her hair, her temple, her eyes, the tears that were now drying on her cheek, the corner of her lips. Slowly, he moved to place his mouth over hers, gently, gently, ever so gently.

"She's an earthbender," Tenzin decided smiling. "Look how long it took her—she was just biding her time." He kissed her hair again, tears falling into the thick mass, and she leaned against his chest with a sigh.

They remained that way until she was forced to get back to work. He kissed her tentatively. He promised her he'd be waiting at home in her apartment. She nodded, fingers curling around his robes, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. Then she went back to delegating orders, stopping the Triads, and thinking about names for her future child.

* * *

**AN:** Was it worth it? Have I been forgiven? I SAID LINZIN AU GUYS COME ON OF COURSE THERE WAS GONNA BE A BABY.

Review, please. It makes me happy. And I desperately need some happiness right now. Give a heart broken sister some love, will you?


	9. ix

**ix.**

The baby was too gentle to be an earthbender. Katara confirmed it one day when everyone was helping Tenzin move into one of the bigger family rooms on Air Temple Island. Katara stopped Lin to place dark hands on her stomach and then said, conspiratorially, "That's an airbender right there." Lin figured she'd let Tenzin keep his illusion that his firstborn would be a replica of her, just because he liked to plan all the ways he was going to help train his future earthbending child.

* * *

There was once when Lin awoke to the sudden craving of meat. After months of denying herself her favorite meals, she was shocked to find herself salivating at the very thought of meat. She heaved herself out of bed to settle the craving once and for all, diet be damned. That got her trying to fit her swollen belly under her metalbending uniform to no avail. It also woke Tenzin.

"Lin," he began carefully, lifting his head from the pillows, bald head shining in the moonlight. "What are you doing?"

"I'm hungry," she responded indelicately. She cursed under her breath, removed her uniform, and sent it crashing onto the ground.

"What do you want to eat?" He stood to look for his shoes, probably lost in the carnage of her cravings. Not that she cared. The baby wanted what it wanted and the baby was going to get it.

"Meat."

He stiffened at the word and turned slowly to look at her. "You're vegetarian."

"No. You're vegetarian. I'm pregnant."

"Lin."

"Barbecued goosechicken."

He gagged at the image. "Really."

She nodded. When he made no move to help her, she figured her metalbending uniform could sit in her closet for another few months for all she cared, and went straight for the terrycloth robe. It wasn't too chilly now that spring was about to bloom but she couldn't very well go out into the streets wearing her negligee.

Tenzin followed dutifully behind her and was even kind enough to carry her spoils back to Air Temple Island.

* * *

That was how it went for the most part. It became difficult to think of herself un-pregnant. Even though her ankles had swelled and she had an insatiable desire to consume every fruit pie ever made, she liked to pass a faint hand over her belly sometimes and think about what their child was going to look like. She always imagined it looking a lot more like Tenzin, but he refused to entertain the idea. "Like you," he'd always say, right before kissing her into coerced agreement. Never before had she felt so wholly unattractive, not even when she first got her scars. Tenzin, however, was undeterred from making love despite her growing belly. In fact, it seemed like he loved it all the more, and she'd wake up to him whispering about how beautiful she was, sneaking past the barrier of her waistband. She only entertained him because she was hornier than usual. She kind of really hated that.

* * *

When the day came that the baby was determined to greet the world, the pain surprised Lin enough to accidentally drop a suds-soaked dish that crashed on the floor. The first thought that came to mind was that now she had to find a way to bend down and clean the mess when the second thought rudely interrupted the first and screamed, _You are having a baby!_

It—it being the baby—did not seem to care that Lin was supposed to appear at the Metalbending Academy graduation that day as the guest speaker.

Tenzin ran into the kitchen to find her standing there gripping her stomach. He was much less prepared and actually yelled at her belly, "No! Not now! Lin has a very important speech to give!" The baby didn't listen.

Katara came as soon as she heard. Aang went to get her mother while Katara shooed Tenzin away and locked him outside of the bedroom. Lin tried to breathe deeply as she was instructed to lie in bed, Katara helping to prop her legs. It occurred to her why Ursa was so adamant about having Katara and Kya help. This position was utterly embarrassing.

The baby didn't let her think about that too long. It decided it was time and tried to get out, albeit rather slowly, as if mapping the entire terrain out. Like father, like evil spawn.

Lin screamed at the top of her lungs, nearly bringing down the apartment building to its foundations. There were many curses that let Tenzin know just how much this was never going to happen again. He came into the room at one point, much to both her and Katara's protests, and let her grip his hand until she almost crushed bone.

The baby was born after thirty-two hours of labor. Katara was the first to dissolve into tears, quickly followed by Aang who gazed in awe at the small thing being wrapped up in a gray blanket. Tenzin broke next, his tears silent as he helped his mother place the baby into Lin's arms despite all of her protests that she didn't know how to hold one, maybe someone else should take her for the first few years. It wasn't until Toph began to cry, fingers memorizing the planes of the newborn's face, that Lin felt the tears begin to prick at her eyes.

"She's an airbender," Lin murmured quietly when they were finally alone. Tenzin sat on the edge of the mattress, head resting against hers. "What do you want to call her?" The baby blinked blearily, brown eyes inquisitive.

"Jinora," Tenzin whispered. He began to cry again.

Lin thought it was funny but kept that thought to herself.

* * *

She spent three months on maternity leave. Tenzin tried to convince her to take more but she earthbended him out into Yue Bay when she got tired of listening to his arguments. He ignored her for a whole twenty minutes before Jinora's crying got him to seek forgiveness if only so he could see his beautiful daughter.

On the last night, as they nestled together in bed while Jinora slept peacefully in her arms, Tenzin leaned down to place a tentative kiss on her shoulder.

"You're not getting laid for at least another week," Lin said easily.

He chuckled. He moved a little, causing Lin to look at him with questioning eyes, until there was something hanging from his fingers. She tried her best not to gulp.

"Will you marry me _now_?" he asked. A blush spread across his cheeks quickly.

"Was this your plan all along?" She shifted Jinora's weight so she could turn and face him. "Get me pregnant so I'd say yes?"

He shrugged. "Not a bad idea, right?"

She took a closer look at the betrothal necklace. The insignia of the Earth Kingdom was surrounded on three sides by a spiral. Tenzin's love for symbolism was evidenced even in his proposal. What an idiot.

"How long have you had it?" Lin forced herself to look into his eyes. "And don't lie."

"Since you turned twenty-one," he admitted in a rush of breath.

That touched her. Just a little. She sighed in defeat. "Fine. Whatever. Do what you want."

Tenzin cried a lot nowadays. Tears fell into her hair as he clasped the necklace around her neck. Jinora smiled in her sleep. Lin thought back vaguely to her mother's story. She would have liked to know her father. He could have bonded with Tenzin over their tearbending.

* * *

The wedding was small. Only the most important people in their life were invited. Lin extended the invitation to some of her officers, namely Officer Feng, who was so delighted he bought her a wide variety of baby-related things, "For the next one." Lin had the opportunity to meet Xiao Li, the beauty that had convinced a then-twenty-two-year-old Feng to get married. She conceded that Feng had a point. The girl was exceedingly beautiful. So beautiful Ursa felt like she had competition.

Kya had to remind the princess it was Lin's wedding, not hers.

Jinora didn't cry during the ceremony. Everyone else did, but the baby remained quiet and placated in her maternal grandmother's arms. Lin wished for her metal boots and not the deadly contraptions she wore on her feet. Her mother had flat out laughed at her when she complained about them.

As she turned to face Tenzin, now newly married, she imagined herself in another life. Without this silly marriage, without Tenzin, without Jinora. Alone, carrying the Beifong legacy on her shoulders with no intention of passing it on to another, letting it live in the hallowed halls of Police Headquarters, under the scrutiny of a stone statue that looked like her mother. As Tenzin's face neared, his eyes staring deeply into hers, Lin found that she wouldn't have minded such a life. But that was another life. Not hers. She had a husband to kiss, and she did so eagerly, never closing her eyes.

* * *

Ikki was born the day after her grandfather died. She wailed loudly in the silence, lungs powerful. Gray eyes identical to those of her late grandfather. Tenzin couldn't look at her for a whole day, opting instead to meditate in the pavilion far from the ever-looming presence of his father's statue. Lin decided she wouldn't ask for Tenzin's help until he was ready to give it and slept with Ikki in her arms for the entire week that Tenzin did not sleep in their bed. When Toph reassured them that Ikki was an earthbender six months later, Tenzin cried with grief.

* * *

Lin pushed away Tenzin's creeping hands, nestling closer to her pillow and further from him. He growled and let his fingers trail along her arm. She could hear his grin in the darkness. As much as she enjoyed feeling his skin on hers, she had sleep to catch up on. Just because she slept didn't mean the streets did, and she had an early day tomorrow at the station.

"I love you," Tenzin said. He kissed her ear for emphasis.

She sighed. "I know, Tenzin."

He brushed his nose against her cheek. "Let me show you."

"I'm asleep."

"Lin." With ease, he turned her around to face him. He propped himself on one elbow and she narrowed her eyes at just how familiar the conversation was. It had happened ages ago but was still something she frequently thought about. After all, it was the conversation that had changed everything and brought them to this. "Let's have a baby."

She laughed. He knew exactly what he was doing. Running two fingers down his nose and over his lips, she leaned to kiss him, avoiding his wandering hands as he sought to bring her closer.

"You have three kids. And one of them is _Meelo_," she reminded him. "Isn't that enough?"

He shook his head and dipped low enough to nip her neck. "I enjoy making them with you."

"I don't enjoy carrying them for nine months at a time. You know my officers are placing bets on how many we're going to end up having, right?"

"Then let's have dozens more. They can't possibly be predicting that many."

"If you're the one popping them out." Her breathing quickened as his lips trailed lower, pulling down her nightgown to expose more of her skin.

He looked up and smirked, triumphant. Lin had to keep her grip on the sheets to keep from punching the stupid grin off his face. "Sure."

There was little else she could do. She gave in as his lips parted over her stomach and delved even lower. One more, she figured darkly. After that, she was going to see her damn herbalist.

_Fin_


End file.
